Single & Married Ladies – Money, Money, Money!

Hi Ladies,

            Let’s evaluate another partnership essential for a joyful, God-centered marriage. It is a vital criterion to consider when committing to a lifelong union.

FINANCIAL PARTNER

This is a primary factor for establishing peace and stability within your marriage. Statistics confirm that strife over money, either its’ distribution or lack, causes the most significant problems in relationships. Financial contention can make you feel like the fellow in the photo, struggling against the wind. But your husband must be your financial partner rather than an opposing force.

Often in the courtship stage, this is an area that couples overlook or decide to ignore. Most women will automatically assess a man’s earning potential very early in a relationship. And most can identify and will eliminate the lazy, shiftless fellow who will disregard his responsibilities toward his household. We understand the reality of Proverbs 18: 9 – “He also who is slack in his work is brother to him who destroys.” And are likely to be drawn to someone whose values, career prospects and goals are more compatible with our own.

The concern is not that the couple be identical in their financial viewpoints. A cooperative partnership can readily be formed between spouses with divergent attitudes on handling money, when they work together to create a balance where both are comfortable. Disparity in financial outlooks is actually normal in marriages, where opposites, reflecting differing spending styles, often find themselves joined.

The partner who happily charges purchases, satisfied with a “sale” whether necessary or not, can find themselves with a spouse who agonizingly accounts for every dollar. Or one person may habitually buy expensive toys while the other was taught to always save for a rainy day. Who will handle the budget?   Will they have joint or separate bank accounts? Will they consult each other on major purchases, or will each go his or her own way?

The particulars that a couple agrees upon for their individual household are not the problem. Any arrangement is acceptable in God’s sight if the husband and wife are in unity about it, because in the management of funds, the Lord is impartial. He’s not concerned over who earns more, and whoever is best suited to the task can handle the fiscal affairs of the home with His full blessing. The trouble occurs when the spouses refuse to compromise. The ensuing financial power struggle can easily contaminate every other aspect of their relationship.

Communication about money matters is crucial before marriage because secrets can be destructive to achieving a real partnership. Have you and your intended talked about your charge card debts or credit ratings? Has he revealed the child support court order(s), or have you confessed the outstanding student loans? Does he know that you’ve always practiced self-gratification with regard to spending, and that the word “denial” is not part of your vocabulary?

Are you aware that he’s been the sole support of his mother since his parents divorced, and that’s not going to change, even with a new wife? Does he realize that money is essentially an abstract concept for you, and that you’re secretly expecting God, or him, to replenish the coffers as soon as you empty them? Or do you appreciate his sophisticated, expensive style, but haven’t yet grasped the fact that his taste for custom shirts, tailored suits, luxury watches, or expensive electronics isn’t going away when you two wed?

Our Father has a great deal to say about money, and it is a blessing intended as a gift for His people. Deuteronomy 8: 18 says, “But you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who is giving you power to make wealth.” The Apostle Paul declares “And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4: 19)

Prosperity is your birthright as a child of the King, but He expects you to learn to acquire and properly utilize the funds He’s made available. And when you marry, He expects that his new couple will use their money wisely.

More on this crucial partner factor next week…Joy and Shalom!