Don’t be fooled. A woman’s physical appearance ranks very high on most men’s true criteria for selecting their mate. Fortunately, few guys require that their lady be a stunning beauty by worldly standards. It is sufficient that he finds her physically appealing. Also fortunate is the fact that men have very different standards for attractiveness, just as we do when evaluating them. Studies have shown that most fellows favor a lady who has approximately the same level of beauty as they themselves…ie, very handsome men generally prefer very beautiful women, and not so lovely ladies are usually happy with a guy who may not be the best looking, but who has other more worthwhile characteristics. This of course is not an ironclad rule, and occasionally couples do break this mold.
With all this said, however, it is worth your time to always be the best person you can be, physically, mentally and spiritually. Assuming you are not at the mercy of forces outside of your control, if you need to make changes in your body, do so. Take charge of you, and try to make it a goal to look your best whenever you step outside your door…not as a manifestation of vanity or pride, but rather, as a form of honoring God by taking the best possible care of His temple, your own self.
Some Scriptures that support the care of ones’ person include 1 Corinthians 6: 20 and chapters 5 and 6 of the Song of Solomon, with their praises of the “fairest” of women. Actually, beauty was a characteristic of most of the women in the Bible. They were lovely ladies, blessed with wisdom, who understood the importance of both their appearance, their brains and their actions. So, go ahead and take care of whatever needs to be done. God has no objection, and neither will the man He has selected for you.
But of course, your sole focus cannot be on appearance. Your inner beauty is just as vital to a potential husband, and also to those around you. “Beauty is as beauty does” is a common but not biblical quote, so let’s see what The BOOK says on the matter:
Proverbs 11: 16 – “A gracious woman retains honor…”
Proverbs 11: 22 – “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.”
Proverbs 31: 25, 26 – “Strength and honor are her clothing…She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness”
Galatians 5: 22, 23 – “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”
Additionally, the entire book of Esther is the inspiring story of a beautiful woman whose courage and honor saved her entire people from destruction.
As these verses point out, inner beauty is even more crucial than physical appearance to your overall attractiveness. That beauty of spirit is what counts most when your goal is to keep a man. Your looks may initially attract his interest, but your personality and the manifestations of the fruit of the Spirit in you is what will make him want to stay by your side. As you work toward your best outward self, don’t neglect to do an honest appraisal of your personality. You probably already have a pretty clear idea of areas that could use some improvement, but don’t accept the usual excuse of, “That’s just the way I am”, as a reason for not even attempting to change.
The presence of The LORD in your life is what will make the difference. Even though you may possess certain inherent personality traits, God can help you modify or eliminate their manifestation. For instance, if you’re prone to impatience or explosive outbursts of temper, He can give you the means for self-control, if you pray and seek His help.
The key to building your inner beauty is to consciously seek the fruit of the Spirit in your life. Other people then begin to see Jesus in you, and there is no greater beauty for any Christian, man or woman.
Until next week, Joy and Shalom!