Okay, you’ve definitely heard this before – you can’t have sex with him until you’re married! But #9 on the checklist of 12 Ways to Know He’s the Right Man for You is He doesn’t push for premarital intimacy. Your right guy respects you, and your decision to abstain. He values you enough to wait for the gift of your body.
“For this is the will of God, even your sanctification: that you should abstain from fornication.” – 1 Thessalonians 4: 3. If you are a Believer, and you’re in bed with a man who is not your husband, you are not “making love” or “sleeping together.” Discard the sugar coated word games, and understand that the King James translation of the Bible calls sexual immorality “fornication”. It’s an ugly word for an ugly situation, a compromising position you should never be in.
What’s the Problem?
Many a believing woman, and man, fights an internal battle over the temptation to disregard this particular restriction from The LORD. And unmarried sexual activity certainly exists within the Church Body…especially now when conventional sexual restraints are being challenged, ignored, or even overturned in Western social mores and legal systems.
You may possibly have sincerely stated…”I don’t see what’s so wrong with this.” This attitude doesn’t pertain only to sexual activities. It can be spoken of a multitude of prohibitions in the Word of God. These are potential problems which the Holy Spirit, through our conscience, tries diligently to make us aware of.
But that’s precisely the point – we truly don’t see. Instead of the spiritually correct positioning of “Spirit/Soul/Body”, too often we actually function as “Body/Soul/Spirit”. When our physical person has regained preeminence, we will fail to notice what’s happening to us and around us. The dictates of the flesh speak loudly and clearly. And our spiritual discernment can become overwhelmed by the insistence of the physical when we’re not in correct alignment.
With sufficient time and insufficient prayer, we’ll lose the ability to understand spiritual instructions. With a physical focus, when considering questionable activities, we won’t be convicted and repentant. Instead, we will become defensive of our position, and convinced that whatever we want to do is “not really so bad.” The process of justification then begins in earnest, and the effects of evil in our life become increasingly less recognized and acknowledged.
According to Wickipedia, situational ethics is a “Christian ethical theory which states that sometimes moral principles can be set aside in certain situations if love is best served.” In other words, you can decide the right or wrong course of action based upon the situation at the time. But this is not scriptural teaching. Instead it’s a philosophy of human wisdom in which there are no absolutes, no actual sin or evil…only a good or bad choice. But the snares of the enemy must be recognized and called what they are. They are sins, which cannot be glossed over or ignored, but which must be conquered by all Believers.
The enemy of our souls is a clever adversary who understands the adage that “honey attracts more flies than vinegar”. He’s made the lures of temptation attractive to us. Sin entices our human nature, and even when we know the dangers, if it’s an activity that we’re drawn to, we’ll keep coming back to it. James 1: 4 says, “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires, and enticed.” I Corinthians 6: 19 tells us to “flee from sin”, not to stand around inspecting it!
When we peer closely at a biblically prohibited action and examine in our own mind whether or not it’s actually evil, we’re questioning Scripture. Our Body, overriding Spirit and Soul, must seek justifications for its’ planned sensually based behaviors. And it will search to find them, pulling us far off course from our God-ordained path.
Ladies, keep your safe locked up! Your right fellow will honor, and share, your desire to maintain a godly relationship. Reconsider him if he doesn’t!
Joy and Shalom!