Single & Married Ladies – Unshackled!

20160511_151951 (2)

Hi Ladies,

The situation of divorce often occurs in the testimonies of single women. It is an unfortunate but common circumstance that requires discernment, especially regarding a future spouse because it may be considered a “tare”.

Dictionary.com defines “Discernment” as “acuteness of judgment, and understanding”. It is the ability to recognize the differences between opposites, and what makes one choice right and another wrong. In the spiritual realm, discernment is critical. Unless you’re able to distinguish between acts that are from the hand of God, and those that are instigated by the devil, you can easily become confused, with disastrous results. Discernment is especially necessary when you’re confronting trials, sufferings, and adverse circumstances, and need to know the difference between what is intended for your good and what is designed for your destruction.

DIVORCE DILEMMA

Although we all marry with the idea that our union will be as strong and enduring as the redwoods in this photo, matrimony is not an easy commitment to uphold. Building and maintaining a good marriage requires more hard work and effort than most people ever imagine. If it were problem-free, our Father would not have made it so tough to get out of, because if we could easily bail, many people would. But that’s not the Lord’s plan. The marital vow is intended by Him to be permanent. It is not a promise that can be broken, or an emotional connection which can shift. Instead it is a covenant pledge with God and with our spouse, and is unbreakable because He forms the third cord in this marriage bond.

However, divorce is no stranger in the church world today, and there are many Christian ladies who are formerly married, often by their own choice. But although we might wish it to be different, the sole scriptural option that God allows for Believers to break their marriage covenant is for the sin of fornication committed by the other partner. Matthew 19: 9 admonishes “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” And even in the presence of this sin, the Lord’s preference is always that we work through the trauma of infidelity by utilizing His power within us to forgive.

However, there’s a very good reason for allowing the dissolution of a marriage because of adultery. The decision to bring another person into the marriage bed actually intrudes them into the covenant itself. It attempts to discard the pledge between the original partners and substitute a new person instead. For this act of betrayal, God allows the injured person the option of a non-recrimination divorce. Because the marriage vow has been breached, she is freed from further entanglement with the adulterous mate, and there are no constraints against forming a new marital relationship.

This isn’t the case, however, if you choose to leave a marriage for any other reason. Even being unsaved and ignorant of Christ when you experienced the processes of marriage and divorce is not justification in the sight of the Lord, and in leaving you haven’t yet voided the covenant that still exists with God. A husband may have been abusive, alcoholic, a drug addict, or more, and absolutely, yes, you must take steps to protect or distance yourself and your children from his harmful actions. Yet to our Father, if he has been physically faithful, he remains your mate regardless of other circumstances.

Of course, in our times people get divorced for a variety of causes aside from infidelity, because bottom-line is they no longer want to be in covenant with that partner. Listen to the voice of Holy Spirit, and seek the true reasons for your possible mate’s divorce…they will become pertinent to you. And if you yourself initiated a biblically unjustified divorce, as a Follower of Jesus, you must make your actions right by asking Him for forgiveness. In doing so, you acknowledge that you have committed a sin against the Lord by breaking your marital vows. And you may also be called to seek forgiveness from that ex-husband as well.

More to come on this controversial topic…Joy and Shalom!

Single &Married Ladies – Stand Strong!

20161007_111615

Hi Ladies,

Let’s continue with CS’s testimony. She is a strong, confident single, a spiritual warrior who sets a great example of faith in God and trust in His processes in her life. Let’s pick up our conversation of how her celibacy developed…

JP – “Did God just stop sending guys your way?”

CS – “No, and I’m glad of that, because I think I would have misunderstood if men stopped finding me attractive. I would have been thinking that maybe the reason I’m not having anybody to say “no” to is because nobody wants me to say yes to them. But the men have been there and His answer has been the same. It’s very important to me to become the friend of the man I will marry, and I think that when you have sex you cloud the friendship. It’s hard to develop the true and honest friendship that’s required. I think sex is the icing on the cake but you have to bake the cake first. That’s the friendship, the relationship, knowing one another and what the person likes and dislikes, how he feels about things, his sensitivities, and if he is easily provoked. The lovemaking part comes anyway, but the other parts of the relationship don’t just happen. You need to make sure you have the cake before you try to ice it.”

JP – “Do you have a list of attributes that you are praying for in a mate?”

CS – “Yes, I do. I don’t know that all of them have come from God, but knowing me and the things I like, I know what I’d like to have in a husband. But I trust that God will always do better than I can ever ask, so even if I give Him this list that I think is absolutely wonderful, He can send me somebody better than that. I believe we can’t even envision what God has in store for us, so I try not to limit Him. It’s important to me that the man be active and involved. It’s also important to me that he is tall. That’s just one of the things I like in men. It’s important to me that he is giving and that he has a family orientation. I think that if you have a sense of family, when you get a family you’ll have a much better sense of what that’s all about; that’s is, what it means to care, to give, to share, to love and to support. Also, I think I have a lot to bring to a relationship, and out there is some man who will appreciate the qualities I bring.”

JP – “Has God spoken to you regarding a husband?”

CS – “Yes. A husband has not been a propriety for me. I’ve enjoyed my life and being single. However, I was praying a few months ago asking God to direct my prayer life. ‘Tell me what I’m to pray for because You know what You’re going to do in my life and I want to pray according to that.’ God really surprised me because He immediately named three things I was to pray for, right there while I was still on my knees: a mate, a move, and a career change.

That was the first time He’s told me anything about a mate. It was like I had said, ‘Okay, You pour into this empty cup whatever You want to fill it with.’, and those are the things He filled my cup with that morning. I have been praying about them since then and I know I’m to pray about them until they come to pass. And at the end of this month, I’m moving.

It’s so awesome that you can talk to God and He talks back to you and allows you to see His hand at work! I’d like my life to be an example of what happens when you allow God to lead you, but it’s not our concern to know what He is doing and why.”

CS ended her story by praising God, as should we all! Moving on to new revelations next week…Joy and Shalom!

Single & Married Ladies – You’re a Jewel!

FB_IMG_1504403535035

Hi Ladies,

Here’s another testimony from A GOOD MAN IS HARD TO FIND…Unless You Ask God to Be Head of Your Search Committee, and it’s the only one from a young lady who’s single. She’s a great example of following God without question, despite all struggles or doubt. And as an exceptional woman of God, she has been as a perfect diamond in His sight.

FOCUSED AND FAITHFUL

JP – “How long have you been single?”

CS – “I’ve been single for ten years.”

JP – “How long were you married, and was your husband a Christian?”

CS – “I was married for only three and a half years, and no, he wasn’t a Christian.”

JP – “Was that a reason for the breakup of the marriage?”

CS – “I’m sure it played a part. We were young when we got married. He got baptized during the time we were married, but that was for me, not because of his relationship with God. After a while it bothered him that every Sunday I would go to church. He’d get upset and want to know, ‘Why can’t you stay home with me today?’ At first, I did. In my mind, I was bargaining with him, which meant there would be some Sundays when he would go with me to church. Then I realized I was compromising in the wrong direction. If he didn’t ever want to go, that was fine, but I couldn’t let him stop the progress I was making just because he didn’t understand.”

JP – “Let me ask you about celibacy. How long have you been celibate?”

CS – “You know I don’t know because it wasn’t planned. I’ve never told God, ‘Because I’m a Christian I want to be celibate.’ I do remember maybe seven or eight years ago, I had a male friend over and we almost made love – no, we almost had sex. But I remember thinking how awful that made me feel. The next day was Sunday, and I recall telling God at the altar, ‘I don’t ever want to feel like that again, and if You will help me with this, I would like to dedicate that part of my life to the way You would like to run it.’ I realized it was an area I hadn’t turned over to Him, and I knew that what I felt the night before I didn’t ever want to feel again, to be with somebody I wasn’t in love with when it wasn’t all the things it was supposed to be.

But I don’t know if the celibacy started then or not. It feels so natural for me. There have been men that I cared a lot about, even some who’ve actually spent the night in my home. But it had to be from God. There is no way an adult woman can let an adult man spend the night and tell him, ‘I will not have sex and you need to understand that,’ and everything is fine. I didn’t do it just to test God. It’s not like standing out in the street daring a Mack truck to hit me because I’ve prayed prior to that. My celibacy is just something that has happened and I’m very grateful for that. When I was starting out, I didn’t know why I was saying no, but now I know it’s the course God has me on. I joke that God must be saving me for some evangelist, but I figure whatever He’s saving me for, it’s good, because God doesn’t do anything that’s not good. And it hasn’t been a problem for me. It’s not hard at all, and that, too, has to be from God. Even with men I’ve cared a great deal about, my commitment to God has always been stronger than any other commitment I could make. I’ve just decided that, ‘If this is what You want for me, this is what I want for me too, so strengthen me to handle it.’ And He has.”

JP – “Did He just stop sending guys your way?”

CS – “No, and I’m glad of that because…”

Until next week, Joy and Shalom!

Single & Married Ladies – As Beauty Does!

FB_IMG_1505402182118Hi Ladies,

As a godly woman, single for whatever reason, you are our Father’s perfect rose! And you are the most beautiful and valuable treasure that your future husband can possess, his personal gift from the Lord. No matter if you are young and saving your virtue for marriage, or divorced, or even currently sexually active, your own attitude of now seeking to serve God in full possession of your body is essential. I Corinthians and I Thessalonians will confirm what you already know through Holy Spirit.

Here’s RB’s answer to last week’s question, and its impact on her future marriage.

JP – “So how long were you celibate?”

RB – “For over ten years. I would like single women to know that you can live without a man; you can really do it. It’s all in giving everything over to the Lord. Just give Him a chance.”

JP – “What’s your opinion of celibacy?”

RB – “Well, if you want a good marriage, that has to come first. One of the ways I knew David respected me was that he respected my opinion on sex before marriage. If you meet a man who doesn’t try to change your mind, or give you reasons why you should, then even if you never get married, you’ve got a good friend.

Once I had a group of women over and we were talking in general, when one woman said she was looking to marry and the Lord had told her, ‘You’ve got to stop having sex with men if you want a husband.’ I feel very strongly that is true. I believe I received more revelation knowledge directly from God, because I abstained from sex. I always felt that if a man wanted my body and didn’t want to marry me, he could forget it. The two go hand in hand.”

JP – “Do you have any advice to pass along to single women?”

RB – “Have patience, patience, and more patience. And when you pray, act like the Lord heard you. The Scriptures tell us to keep on knocking and keep on seeking, but it’s important not to act like you’re desperate. If you get out there and you’re acting desperate, Satan looks at you and puts stumbling blocks in your way. There’s no need to be – your husband is out there. You may need to ask the Lord to open his eyes so he can see you, because that way you won’t go out there and get in the Lord’s way.

Keep yourself busy, not just doing things for yourself but for other people as well. Grandmother used to say, ‘Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.’ I went to school and took some classes, was active in my church and put in overtime on my job, so I had a full life and no time to worry about being married. Stay close to your family also if possible. Their input can really help.

Another thing is to be friendly. I didn’t know if David was Christian or not when I met him, but I was friendly. Even if you’re going to witness to someone, you need to have a friendly attitude. Be hospitable. My apartment was always open to people in need, single mothers or even couples. I enjoyed cooking and would invite single male friends who didn’t cook for themselves for dinner once in a while. I didn’t expect anything in return, but if you’re friendly, whenever you need a friend, you’ll have a friend, and you never know when you’ll need somebody.

If you learn to practice hospitality, you can establish your own traditions, especially for holidays. I would invite people over who were going to be alone. They weren’t all Christians, and they included people of all races and backgrounds. The first year I did that, two people became Believers. Their Christian walk began as a result of an act of hospitality and friendliness.”

JP – “Any final admonitions?”

RB – “You must let go and let God. Don’t get in front of God. In His perfect timing, you won’t marry the wrong man.”

That’s wisdom! Joy and Shalom until next week…

 

Single & Married Ladies – Enjoy the Journey!

FB_IMG_1504038771774

Hi Ladies,

Finding and marrying the mate of God’s choice is like taking a lovely journey into the unknown…you’ve never been there before, but you anticipate what appears to be waiting on the horizon.  Every step you take forward toward “I do” is a step into your future, and you know that if our Father has ordained it, the trip will be worth it!

Let’s return to RB’s testimony, and her hesitation about making a marital decision.

YIELD TO GOD

JP – “Why were you hesitant about David?”

RB – “Well, things slowly started happening to open my eyes and change my mind.  David was my best friend.  One of the ladies at the office asked about him, and said ‘Why don’t you marry him?’  I was surprised, and she said. ‘You should marry your best friend.’  That stuck with me, even though at the time I thought, ‘No way!’

When he started pushing me to get married, I had to stop to think about my criteria, and if he met them.  One of my main prayers was ‘Lord, You know me and what I need.  You know my personality and the man who’s best suited for me.  You choose the husband.’  I got that from my mother because she always told me she had let God choose her husband, and I always thought I had the most wonderful daddy in the world.  God knows you on the inside better than anybody else, and when you get married, what’s on the inside is going to come out.”

JP – “What were your criteria?”

RB – “Well, I asked for a tall, slender man, but David is medium height and a heavy build.  I asked for a jack-of-all-trades, and David does a little bit of everything.  I didn’t want a minister or a lawyer and David is neither.  I wanted a very clean and meticulous man, but David is messy.  I wanted a man who loved children, and David and his family are the most children-loving people I’ve ever met.  He is very caring, loving, and kind.  And although I didn’t know it at the time, I also need a patient man, which David has definitely shown himself to be.

I also wanted a man who believed in the Lord Jesus Christ.  That was one of my major concerns and I wanted us to be members of the same church.  He would go to my church every Sunday, but he just would not join.  He did pray, and I could talk freely to him about the gifts of God and the fruit of the Spirit, but my church was really different for him.  They always told us in the singles ministry to make sure a man’s been a Christian for at least a year before you marry him.  David finally decided to join, and he’d been a member for just over a year when we got married.”

JP – “Was this your first marriage?”

RB – “I was thirty-eight and he was thirty-seven, and it was the first one for both of us.  I’d been engaged twice but they didn’t work out.  However, my first question to David was ‘Why haven’t you ever gotten married before?’  I wanted to know what was wrong with him.”

JP – “Had you been praying for a husband?”

RB – “Not really.  I was never concerned about it.  A lot of single women are always worrying about it, always praying about it, but whenever I would think about it, I would pray then drop it.  I would hear women saying, ‘I’m going to be married by such and such a time’, but I was never worried about that.  What concerned me was that I wanted to be happy, and I knew if I got married and I wasn’t happy, I would leave the marriage.  I planned to do this only one time, so I was willing to take my time.  I knew that it was very important to be happy in a marriage and satisfied with the mate you have, so I was determined to let God do the choosing.

JP – “So how long were you celibate?”

Until next week…Joy and Shalom!

Single & Married Ladies – Texas Proud/Houston Strong!

FB_IMG_1504404730179

Hi Ladies,

Our governor declared this photo to be the perfect depiction of Texas versus Harvey! And with God’s grace, we are standing strong and moving on with our lives here in Houston.

This week I’d like to share another marital testimony from a young lady who is a living witness that it can be done God’s way, all the way. God can take us and deal with us from wherever we are, both in our personal lives, and in our relationship with Him. He doesn’t care where you’ve been, only where you are going.

Let Go and Let God

            RB has had no traumatic divorces, no wild ex-husbands, or children to raise alone, but she does have a vibrant witness of the faithfulness of our Father to His Word in the life of a woman who was faithful to His Word.

JP – “How did you and David meet?”

RB – “We lived five doors from each other. We both had a dog, and we met while walking them. I used to tease him that my dog who weighed seventeen pounds could beat up his dog who weighed seventy pounds. But David’s dog developed degenerative arthritis and after a while, he couldn’t walk anymore and David had to put him down. He’d raised the dog from a puppy and he felt really bad about it. He was grieving and needed a friendly ear, so one evening he came to my apartment and knocked on the door at 10 pm. I actually let him in. We talked for a couple of hours, then he went home.

We became really good friends. He’s the kind of person you meet and immediately feel as if you’ve known him for a long time. If you needed to talk to a friend in the middle of the night you could always go to him. He always had friends in his apartment, visiting and watching sports.   Shortly after we became friends he started going to my church, and we would talk for hours about the Lord.”

JP – “Was he a Christian?”

RB – “Yes, but he was looking for a church. No, actually he was looking in the church for a wife. We would talk about that sometimes too. One evening he came up and was telling me how he’d gone to church looking for his wife, and how he would usually see a woman and think, ‘Maybe this is the one, Lord,’ so he’d go up and introduce himself. He’d be disappointed when she’d say, ‘Hi, how are you’, and go on about her business. While we were talking about this I told him, ‘You shouldn’t go to church to look for a wife; you should go to church to find God.’ I remember him looking at me real strange, and suddenly he had to go home. It was like he’d suddenly gotten sick or something, and he had to leave right then. I wondered what had happened.

Later on, he told me that when I said that his eyes opened and the Lord said to him, ‘This is your wife.’ He had to go home and talk to the Lord. He told Him, ‘She is not my wife – she’s my friend.’ He went back and forth with the Lord about that but he didn’t win. A couple of weeks later he told me what the Lord had said. I was not at all prepared for this, so I told him, ‘If I was your wife, the Lord would have told me first before He told you.’ I felt I would know before he would know because I was more spiritual.

So, he agreed to remain just friends. David was very patient with me. He knew what the Lord had told him, and he waited patiently for two years before I came around. The Lord just left the decision up to me. It was as if He said, ‘R____, this is your decision. I’m not saying a word to you.’ Because if I followed Him, I was going to make the right choice.”

The surprising twist to RB’s story…coming next week. Joy and Shalom!

Pray for Houston

FB_IMG_1504117568417

Hi Ladies,

Apologies for the lack of a blog this week.  Schedule disrupted by Hurricane Harvey.  Just remember that God’s got you, no matter what’s going on in your life!

Have a blessed week, and see you next week, God willing.

Joy and Shalom!

Single & Married Ladies – Weigh Your Options!

20170707_131914Hi Ladies,

Options are always around us and as you follow the pathway of your life, there will be numerous choices to be made. After your decision to receive salvation by acceptance of Jesus Christ as Lord, the most important choice before you will be that of deciding on your spouse. Remembering that this is a permanent selection, the decision you make will be critical to the joy and happiness of you, your husband and your family. Weigh all of your options with clear eyes, while trusting and following God’s Will.

The last two blogs shared the testimony of a young newlywed, BB, who married the husband of God’s choice after bearing three children out of wedlock in her search for love.

TESTIMONY CONTINUES

JP – Was this your second marriage?

BB – No, this was my first marriage. I feel I am a living testimony to every unwed mother, of what God can do in their lives if they just yield to Him. I have three children and had never been married. I wasn’t a Christian when I had my children. In fact, my last child was born two weeks before I became a Christian.

When I got involved with the church and ministry, the Lord gave me a peace about being single. I remember once, when I belonged to a different church, the pastor told a story about a woman who came up for prayer moaning, “I need a husband. I’ve got all these bills to pay. I need a husband.” The pastor told her, “Sweetheart, you don’t need a husband. You just need some money.” You have to be careful because the enemy will get you into that mindset of fantasizing about having two incomes and someone to help pay the bills. I think that’s the spirit of the world. It’s one of the worldly strongholds that we, as Christians, still have in our minds about relationships and marriage. But being married doesn’t change that – God is still our source.

JP – So how’s married life now?

BB – It’s great, but God has made a lot of changes in me to get me to this point. Marriage is not what I had it to be in my carnal mind. I’ve had to really yield to the Spirit and hear the Spirit in my marriage, because I had some incorrect ideas that were firmly set in my mind about how it should go. I have no doubt God put us together, but our marriage, as well as our love for God, has been tested. He may still have some attitude adjustments to make, but thankfully, the major ones have been taken care of. God has given us a glimpse of what He wants to do through us.

JP – Any parting thoughts to share? What about celibacy?

BB – I would advise women to yield to God. I was a committed Christian, filled with the Holy Spirit, and I had a plan for my life. But it wasn’t God’s plan. All the time, God was trying to keep me from hurting myself. With sex before marriage, you don’t even get to know each other. The first fruit of the Spirit is love and I believe God wants couples to build philia love first. Sex before marriage is out of order and brings all kinds of problems.

When I went ahead at one point, and entered into a sexual relationship with a man, it seemed like every demon in the spirit realm was loosened on me. I got caught up at a time when I was very vulnerable. I had just left the church I was in over hurts I had endured there, and Satan sent this guy right on in. I was strong-willed and self-willed. I had my heart focused on the man, not on God. God had to do surgery on my mind to get him out. That’s why God told the Israelites to marry within their tribe, because He didn’t want them serving strange gods. It took the Lord to deliver me.

BB’s insights continued about making choices and following God. But there are others to share. Until next week…Joy and Shalom!

Single & Married Ladies – Blinders?

20170814_204001

Hi Ladies,

To receive the mate God has ordained for you, it may be necessary to remove any blinders keeping you from seeing the truth of what our Father has spoken to you. Depending upon where you are in your faith walk with the Lord, you could be questioning His directions, or wondering exactly what He has planned for your life. It can sometimes seem as if you are struggling ahead blindfolded. But HE knows every step of your pathway, and a faith walk with God requires exactly that…that you trust Him and exercise your faith. He has everything under control!

STORY CONTINUES

BB’s testimony last week from my first book, A Good Man is Hard to Find…Unless You Ask God to Be Head of Your Search Committee, shared her wisdom as a recently wed mother of three on hearing the voice of God about the right mate. She met her husband at a ministry meeting when a spouse was the furthest thing from her mind. Now continuing…

JP – Did the Lord clue you in that this was to be your husband?

BB – Yes, He told both of us. I found out from him later that the Lord told him the night we first met, “Meet your wife.” The Lord had given me a word concerning him about two months earlier. Then, a few days after I met him, I heard the Lord say, “This is that C___ I was speaking of.”

JP – Had you given up hope of marrying before this happened?

BB – I had been on my own for about eleven years and I felt like I was a veteran of the single life. There were definitely times when I gave up hope, followed by times when hope would rise up again. I went through several cycles where my hopes would be high, then after a while I’d say, “Forget it,” and ask the Lord just to clear my mind and take these feelings away. But He would never do that.

I always desired to be married, to have a husband who loved the Lord and could minister with me. But it seemed like, in times past, whenever I started praying for a husband, all kinds of people would come out of the woodwork who were not of God.

I always struggled with my weight, and I had slacked up on my diet and exercise. But about a year before I met C___, the Lord had told me to start working on myself and start losing weight because He was going to send my husband. I just left it alone because I thought it was flesh talking and I didn’t want to put any hopes in the voice of the flesh. You get tired of struggling with whether God wants you to have a mate or not. You want to put your mind to something else. So, I found myself not even giving in to that because I didn’t want to be disappointed. I had been disappointed many times but God is faithful. In due time, if we’ll be patient and faint not, He’ll send us what we need.

JP – How long was it from the time you met C___ until you married?

BB – We met in July and he proposed in October, but it took till May, a total of eleven months, for the wedding to take place. It was the longest time of my life. I’d get mad at him regularly. I was ready to get married. I knew I loved him and I knew he loved me but he still had a lot of things to deal with. I was the one who was always saying, “Don’t worry. We can work it out.”

Finally, my prayer partner and I went to work on the situation. One morning we prayed about it, and C___ told me later that afternoon that he’d had a dream that morning in which the Lord was directing him to go ahead and get married. I smiled and told him, “Yes, we were praying about that time.” After that, he was ready…

Conclusion next week…hope BB is encouraging to you! Joy and Shalom!

facebook_1501464266471

Hi Ladies,

Sometimes the journey ahead may seem long and daunting, but it requires only one step at a time to reach your destination. If you belong to our Father, He has, or soon will have, given you a Vision for your future and your destiny. Marriage may well be waiting on your pathway, but after that there will be still more roads to take to fulfill His Will. So step out in faith, knowing that the Lord is in control, but that you must also do your part.

An essential aspect of achieving your Vision for marriage is to understand what you expect and need in a spouse. God will bring the right fellow into your life, but you must stay in touch with Him in order to recognize your man when he arrives. The key to doing this is to know yourself and your own desires. But even if you have a list of criteria, know that our Father can and will make His own adjustments to it, so be prayerful and flexible.

THE TESTIMONY

My first book, A Good Man is Hard to Find…Unless You Ask God to Be Head of Your Search Committee, shares testimonies from godly women who received the answer to their husband prayers. Here’s an excerpt from a young lady who shares her wisdom on selecting and marrying the right mate.

B.B. was a mother of three children born out of wedlock before she became a Believer and God delivered her mate. Her earlier searches for love were unsuccessful because only God could provide the right head for her family.

JP – From your vantage point as a formerly unwed mom, do you have any admonitions to share?

BB – Just be very careful. There are men out there who can see when you are vulnerable. I encourage single women to have a close friend who is also walking with the Lord, a prayer partner that you can call on. Don’t try to run the race alone. “In the multitude of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11: 14). Also, be as transparent as the Lord allows you to be. Once you start hiding things, the enemy can get to you and defeat you. Be open about the feelings you are having. Stay under wise counsel! The human will, the flesh, is so strong, that if you want a thing badly enough, you can convince yourself that it’s God’s Will. You must be careful to whom you listen. The enemy is very subtle in that area.

The Lord gave some strong warnings to me in my single life. He didn’t leave me ignorant. If He gave me a word, He always gave confirmation. If I questioned Him about a man who’d come into my life, He always said, “No, this is not him.” I didn’t like it. I’d get upset and angry with God and have a temper tantrum, but the Spirit of God always watched over me and protected me. So, yield to the Spirit. “Be steadfast, immoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord” (1 Corinthians 15: 58). God dealt with me several times about that Scripture, “Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established” (Proverbs 16: 3). You know, once the loneliness of not having a husband or father for your kids sets in, it’s hard to break that cycle in your mind. You’ll get into a pity party and think God cares nothing about you.

I belonged to a singles group once and I heard the leader say something that really turned me off. She said, “We’re the rejects.” I refused to accept that. That thought sets you up for failure. I told the Lord, ‘I do not want to be single. I will not be single.’ but whenever the desire for a husband began to consume my thought life, God would deal with me time after time about why He still said no. It’s the same as when a child doesn’t understand why the parent says no. You just have to learn that He knows best.”

More of her testimony next week…Joy and Shalom!