Should I pray for a mate? Definitely yes, if you truly want to get married and a husband is your desire from God. But have you given much thought to exactly what you want him to be? Do you know the kind of man you’d like?
The best way to receive what you want from Our Father is to be clear on what you are asking for. Visualize the type of spouse you want, then pray for that. It is okay to be specific about his looks, his career, his spirituality, and every other aspect that is important to you. Think about it – if you wanted a new car, would just any car do, or would you have a preference for the model and features you’d like? True… guys aren’t cars, but if you don’t have clarity on what you want, you won’t recognize when you’ve received it.
But caution is advised! In the King James, I Timothy 4: 1 talks of “seducing spirits” – “in the latter times, some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils.” Other versions refer to these tempters as “deceiving” or “deceitful” spirits. Deceptions are one of the enemy’s most common weapons against us, and he makes them beguiling and attractive. Just as he himself was not a red demon with horns and a pitchfork, but was one of Our Creator’s most beautiful angels, so will deceptions be presented to you, especially when you begin praying for a specific request.
It is essential to understand your own set of seducing spirits. Satan will attempt to entice you in your area of weakness, but when you know where the mines are, it’s far easier to avoid them. Especially pertaining to males, identify which aspects are a special temptation for you. For example, maybe you’ve always been drawn to wealth, but God intends for you to have faith for His provision in this area. Along comes the Believer you’ve been praying about, and you’re delighted with him in every way except that he’ll never be rich, and he doesn’t even want to be.
So what’s the enemy going to do? He won’t dispatch a penniless guy to distract your attention, but will send out the glossy attorney with the big Mercedes who works in your office building. Lucky you! But the accurate word here is ‘lucky’, not ‘blessed’, because this man may be a totally committed unbeliever, and if you allow your own desires to lure you, you will be embracing a deception.
Or perhaps you’ve always had a weakness for really handsome guys, or tall muscular ones, but the available Christian men seem to be neither. Under the sway of your perceived attraction criteria, you’ll sift through dozens of fellows, dismissing them without consideration while awaiting the one who has the superficial attributes that you crave.
Maybe it’s not money or appearance, but prestige or status, or as one lady told me, “anything as long as he’s a preacher”. We all have non-negotiable areas in our evaluation of the opposite sex, and they are not necessarily weaknesses. Instead they form our core values, and Our Father will honor them in the mate He’s designed for us.
My own non-negotiable, besides strong Christian faith, was intelligence. It didn’t matter what degrees he possessed as long as he could keep up with me mentally. But I was unwilling to deal with any guy who I felt was an idiot. And he had to be tall. So The LORD blessed me with a 6’3” minister who is more than my match intellectually. With the criteria of faith, height, and brains present, ‘flaws’ didn’t matter.
God loves you very much, and when your innate preferences are a ‘bent’ or trait that He Himself put into you, such leanings are not problematic…instead they’ll help you recognize your ordained spouse. However, it is crucial to identify the seducers, lures and temptations that the enemy will place in your path. They are not the same as the values that Our Father has given you which make you who you are. More on “mating prayers” to come…Joy and Shalom!