Hi Ladies,
There are several qualities that the Scriptures tell us as women to be aware of and to seek out when choosing a husband, because they’re essentials for a blessed and happy marriage.
COMMITTED PARTNER
Commitment goes much further than the wedding vow to “forsake all others”. Like the deer in the photo, commitment means you stay together whatever the problems are, even floods! Only commitment can hold a marriage together because it’s the factor that lasts after the starry-eyed lust, so often confused with “love”, has dissipated. Commitment is the true nature of love, not romance, because real love does not rest upon human affection. Affection is a fleeting emotion, but love is established by making a binding pledge to the other person, then following through with words, attitudes, and actions. But the commitment must be there first.
Per dictionary.com, the root meaning for “Commit” is, “To pledge oneself to a position on an issue; to bind or obligate; to entrust, especially for safekeeping.” When we commit in marriage to another person, we entrust them with our heart, our wellbeing and every facet of our love. And we accept those same accountabilities toward them. If we say that love is lacking in a relationship, we’re actually saying that the commitment, the will to love, is absent.
Understanding this will help you realize that, within the bounds of matrimony, love can be restored when the commitment is there. Real love is not a vapor that evaporates, never to be retrieved, but is instead a decision, an act of faith and will, and is the highest product of your thought processes.
Colossians 3: 14 advises “Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” Notice the words “put on” – they indicate that love is a decision that can be put on or taken off, as one chooses. It is not a factor that we’re powerless to control, but is an attitude which determines our actions, and the choices that we build upon and stand by.
Your groom must understand and accept this concept. He should be a man who will commit to being your partner in life, no matter what. Romance, enthusiasm and desire are positive emotions in courtship, and they will be even more enjoyable within a godly marriage. But these pleasant experiences are intended to enhance your relationship, not form the sole basis for them.
By making commitment a priority, you can more clearly see past the haze of emotions, and say no to the fellow who demonstrates only a surface attraction to you. You’ll detect and decline the attentions of the man who cannot accept the “real” you, or the guy who seriously announces that “You must never change because you are perfect just the way you are”. You will avoid the one who insists that you must never gain weight, or the guy who wants to dress you up like his imagined ideal, or who seeks an “angel” or a “saint” on a pedestal instead of a real person.
You can detect the man who’ll be at a loss for what to do with you after the passion season has ebbed, when there are noisy youngsters, and chores waiting to be done. Or the one who, instead, regards himself as flawless, spotless, and wrinkle-free. And with this godly awareness, you can allow these fellows to move off along their own ordained life paths.
But when a man has a firm commitment to you and his marital vows, he can be trusted not only with your heart, but also with your marriage. He will automatically forsake all others with regard to intimacy. With an honest commitment of trust, rooted in a mutual foundation in the Lord, you will not need to track his activities in order to be confident that he is truly yours. As a Believer he will be bound by, and will honor, the behavioral restrictions that God requires of His good, godly males. This is the man who has the potential to truly be your committed life partner.
More essential partnership traits to consider next week…Joy and Shalom!
jo lynne pool - Love in The Book.org 