Biltmore

Hi Ladies,

The final basic need that God has placed within His men is one that most ladies have few problems with…

# 3 – PROVIDER

God has designated this for male emotional wellbeing.  No, he needn’t provide in Biltmore style, like the photo, but since Garden of Eden days, our Father has held man accountable to meet the material sustenance of his family.  It’s a role which not only do most men understand and accept, their ego demands it.  Generally, a husband will supply the physical necessities of his wife and children through work, a topic which is thoroughly covered in Scripture.  Consider:

  • Proverbs 10:4 – “Poor is he who works with a negligent hand, but the hand of the diligent makes rich.”
  • Proverbs 12:11 – “He who tills his land will have plenty of bread.”
  • Proverbs 13:4 – “The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing; but the soul of the diligent is made fat.”
  • Proverbs 22:29 – “Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will stand before kings;”
  • Ecclesiastes 5:3 – “For the dream comes through much effort…”
  • Ecclesiastes 9:10 – “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might;”
  • Proverbs 18:9 – “He also who is slack in his work is brother to him who destroys.”

Our Lord ordains the husband to provide because it invests him far more deeply into the welfare of his family.  But beware the type of fellow that Proverbs 19:4 warns against… “The sluggard buries his hand in the dish, but will not even bring it back to his mouth.”  This guy is so lazy he can barely bother to eat, let alone work.

A common situation nowadays, however, is where the woman earns a higher salary, and it’s allowed to become an issue between the partners.  This wife must resist the temptation to denigrate her husband’s efforts or to assume that bringing in more money means she should also take control in the home.

Proverbs 14:23 notes that “In all labor there is profit.”  A man who works diligently at the job he has, and who makes a real effort to care for his family should be encouraged and treated with the respect so necessary for his self-esteem.  His position of headship is not dependent upon his income.  But he must also not be threatened by his wife’s accomplishments or attempt to diminish her contributions to their union.  When both spouses cooperate every member of the family will reap the benefits.

MEANING “NO”!

Since perfection is non-existent among humans, no matter how wonderful a fellow seems, as you get to know him, you’ll encounter some characteristics that cause concern. Don’t be hasty to abandon him in search of a flawless man.  With Jesus Christ in his life, he’s indwelt by Perfection Himself, and with God guiding your own decision-making, your choice will ultimately be mistake-proof.

But if you’ve decided against him, males are resilient, and just like women, they appreciate clarity.  If you find that a relationship isn’t developing in the way you’d hoped, or you no longer want him in your life for whatever reason, never hesitate to say “No”.  It’s not unkind to offer no romantic encouragement to a man who is clearly not the right one.  If you prayerfully feel led to end a connection, stick with your decision.  Second-guessing, succumbing to pressure, or backtracking will only return you to the original distressing situation.

If you’re thinking of resuming an old attachment, try to understand exactly why you want to return.  If you feel you made a mistake, is anything significantly different now about either of you?  Has the Lord changed your mind, or are your regrets based upon fantasies that things will suddenly be better?  Or perhaps the guy is making a concerted effort to reenter your life, and you’re simply weakening in your resolve.  It can be difficult enough to walk away in the first place, and never a good idea to do the same work twice.  As always, let God be your guide!

Next week, we’ll evaluate your own requirements as a godly lady – Joy and Shalom!

Jo Lynne Pool