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Hi Ladies,

Let’s continue with factors that make our men tick, as designed by our Creator.

#2 – HEADSHIP

This is another basic need that our Father has placed within His men. God Himself assigns to the man a leadership role in marriage. He is designated to be head of his household, leading them as he receives instruction from the Lord. Headship is a burden that implies benevolence of purpose, a necessity to serve the best interests of those whom God has given him the care of. As leader, he’s authorized by Father to see that his family arrives at the best, most beneficial place for them to be.

In today’s world, biblical edicts may seem outdated, but they actually still apply because God hasn’t changed the necessities implanted in His men:

Genesis 1:26, 28 – “… ‘Let Us make man in Our image…and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’”

Genesis 3:16 – “Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.”

Ephesians 5:22-24 – “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is head of the church; He Himself being the Savior of the body...”

1 Timothy 3:5 – “But if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?”

Headship involves leadership, decision-making, and control, and men strive for and vie with each other for it. They’re competitive in business and sports, in winning female attention, and in myriad other ways. They expect and even enjoy this struggle for dominance among themselves, but most men resent having to compete for authority with the woman they love. A husband and wife who contend against each other for headship will ultimately destroy their marriage because anything with two heads has a real problem, and that includes families. As a woman, you may view this mandate with disdain, but as a Believer, you must try to understand this aspect of manly dominion and why God has authorized it. A wise lady acknowledges its’ existence in her mate’s ego.

Most often, the reason for a wife’s rejection of her husband’s leadership is a lack of trust in his decision-making capabilities. This causes much of the nagging that men dislike so intensely. Even the Bible reflects the masculine aggravation with nagging:

Proverbs 21: 9 – “It is better to live in a corner of the roof, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”

A wife might not intend to nag, but her perceptions can differ greatly from her husband. She knows how she would handle a situation, and her doubts will surface when his opinions don’t coincide. Her only solution may be to complain or pester.

But it’s important to understand that a man seldom thinks exactly like you, and this difference in perspective strengthens and balances your relationship. Rather than resorting to nitpicking his decisions and enduring inevitable arguments, choose prayer. In almost every situation, if you ask Father to guide his actions, you can safely yield to them, unless you’ve chosen a fool whose instructions would adversely affect your wellbeing. Fortunately, the choices that most males make won’t result in tragedy.

When you allow your guy to be the leader in your marriage, you’re demonstrating confidence in his abilities, and that provides a crucial boost to his self-confidence. He may then seek your opinion, which only displays wisdom on his part. Proverbs 19:20 advises a man to “Listen to counsel, and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days.”

Hopefully, if you’re single and interested in a certain fellow, he’s earned your respect and admiration in the first place, or you would not be considering him as God-given husband material. Allowing him the position of headship will then come naturally, and your relationship can build according to the Lord’s ordained order.

We’ll address the third masculine need next week…Joy and Shalom!

Jo Lynne Pool