Single & Married Ladies – His Needs?

Hi Ladies,

It is essential to remember, when you contemplate marriage, that no person is ever perfect, and there will be some imperfections in every fellow. But there are certain requirements that a godly man needs from his spouse, regardless of any lapses or faults he may possess. These necessities are mandated by our Creator as part of his masculine identity and only his feminine counterpart can fulfill these powerful psychological requisites. A man will always be drawn to the woman who sincerely demonstrates these behaviors toward him, and she will be invaluable to him.

#1 –ADMIRATION

All men crave this because God has implanted the desire within them. A lady who treats her man with admiration and respect provides him with a validation of his worth and an essential boost to his self-esteem.

Why is this so important? Dictionary.com defines “Admiration” as “the act of looking on or contemplating with pleasure; an object of wonder, pleasure or approval.” “Respect” entails “Esteem for, or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment.”

Many ladies are scornful of such attitudes, prizing their independence, and hesitant to give “preference” to a man. They may show respect toward authority figures, but won’t offer similar validation to a boyfriend or husband, even while giving him their time and affection.

There is scriptural confirmation of this requirement: Ephesians 5: 33 – “The wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” In 2 Samuel 6: 16-23, King David’s wife, Michal, sabotaged her position as queen because she “despised him in her heart”, the exact opposite of admiring and honoring him. And Queen Vashti, in Esther 1: 9-12, lost her crown for humiliating her husband before his court by refusing his request to dance. Even if she justifiably had little respect for the man himself, she was still duty bound to honor his position.

However, the ever-energetic paragon of virtue in Proverbs 31, always treated her husband well, and reaped the honor of eternal praise for her many virtues. Proverbs 31: 11, 12 – “The heart of her husband trusts in her; and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

Although times have drastically changed, this need is still inherent in men. The Bible does not tell a woman to love her husband, but instead to exhibit an attitude of respect. On the other hand, the husband is repeatedly admonished to love his wife. The complete verse in Ephesians 5: 33 says, “Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself; and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5: 28 says “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

The directives to show love are given to the husband because displaying unconditional love is not a natural trait in men. Women, however, are designed by God to be nurturers and givers of love and can more readily share our heart. We are capable of loving a guy just because we choose to, while at the same time possessing little admiration for him. It can be easier for a man to find a woman who’ll love him, than to locate one who will respect him. But we ladies most often seek our fellow’s love and affection. His regard for our feelings and his emotional commitment are far more essential to our joy in marriage than any material provision.

In the Father’s ordained design, the characteristics of men and women work well together, and our innate needs balance and complement each other, bringing equilibrium to the marriage. A wife’s admiration for her husband grows when he demonstrates his love for her, and a man learns to love and cherish the wife who openly admires and respects him. Each will be happy in the relationship because their deepest requirements are being met. We simply must trust in the Lord’s designated process.

This is the first of the needs of men…more next week.  Joy and Shalom!

Jo Lynne Pool