Champions

Hi Ladies,

Now let’s consider another crucial Partner Factor for a spouse…

CHAMPION

One of the most overlooked traits that we ladies need from our husband is the aspect of being our Champion. Its’ importance isn’t understood by either sex, neither what it means, nor what it requires, but our Father has implanted this desire deep within His women, and it’s an essential trait to seek in a godly mate.

Dictionary.com defines “Champion” as “a person who fights for another or for a cause; defender, protector, supporter.” Starting way back when we were little girls, we are naturally responsive to the oppositeness and the strength inherent in men. God designed us to respond this way, to prize his muscular physique, and his deep, rich voice, to admire his brains and his brawn. And no matter the actual physical characteristics of our man, we value his maleness, just as he values our femininity.

We expect and need our husband, the man who has selected us above all others, to value us. We want him to protect and defend us, love us, and take on the world for us. Even if we don’t need this literally, on an emotional and spiritual level, we crave this attitude in our chosen partner. And this responsibility of being our Champion is not a requirement of courtship but is the mantle of a spouse.

One of the deepest of marital wounds occurs when a husband shirks the responsibility to champion his wife. A man who ceases to prize her, who declines his role as her protector and supporter will cause a wife to feel emotionally abandoned, left to face hurt, angers and frustrations alone, which is not God’s intent for marriage.

In His design, the husband forms an umbrella of protection over his wife and family. Sheltered under his headship, attacks from the world and Satan fall around them, unable to breach the boundaries of safety that his caring provides…see 1 Peter 3:7.

With this in mind, look closely at the fellow you may want to marry. How does he treat you? Does he take you for granted? Are you the one doing all the work to maintain the relationship? How do you truly see him? Is he the “Giant” – spiritually and emotionally the strong, powerful, good man with positive traits you can live with and cherish forever, the one who will be your supporter, protector and champion? Or is he perhaps not such a mythic creature? Remove any blinders of love and expectations and try to see him with clear eyes and a clearer head.

If this is not a man you can respect, honor, and who will champion you as his chosen blessing from God, what are your motivations for marrying? Are you saying yes for money, or because you want children? Is he a ticket out of your parent’s home, or the answer to an unbearable longing to be a bride?   Is the wedding dress you bought years ago on faith starting to yellow, and now you’re anxious? Or are you simply tired of waiting, or are afraid of missing God entirely by being too choosy? Motivations can be complicated, leading to places you didn’t intend to go.

It’s possible to overanalyze and miss blessings by holding unrealistic expectations, but the reality is that most people make choices when deciding to marry. We evaluate pros and cons, and think ‘Well, he may not be this, but at least he’s not that’, or ‘I can live with this, but definitely not that.’ Since love is a cumulative process, it can grow deeper and stronger provided the commitment exists in both partners.

But no woman should settle for a potential spouse who doesn’t desire to “love, honor and cherish” her. He is to be your “strong tower” (Psalm 61:3 – “For you have been a shelter for me, a tower of strength against the enemy”), and his willingness to protect and care for you cannot be compromised on. The commitment of a champion cannot be faked, and without it a key ingredient of your marriage will be missing.

Another Partner Factor coming next week…Joy and Shalom!

Jo Lynne Pool