Birdie

Hi Ladies,

Unfortunately, we haven’t met all the bad boys yet. Holy Spirit and the Holy Bible offer still more concerns in a mate. Being handsome or a nice Believer isn’t everything…look deeper!

The Fool:

A little silliness may be okay, but who wants a fool? No one, not even God. The entire book of Proverbs cautions against the fool as opposed to the man of wisdom. So, what makes a foolish man, and how can you tell when this flaw is present?

Dictionary.com defines “fool” as “A person with little or no judgment, common sense, or wisdom.” But the determination is primarily subjective, decided by what each woman expects her man to be. There are some concrete indicators, but foremost is your own evaluation of him. Do you think he’s a fool? Then for you, he is.

A prime biblical example of a fool is Nabal, the belligerent husband of Abigail in I Samuel 25. He was prosperous and had a beautiful wife, but foolishly jeopardized everything by sheer meanness. His mistreatment of David nearly destroyed them all, and only Abigail’s timely intervention saved them. Nabal was a fool, and so is any man who knowingly brings harm or danger to himself or his family, but there are other less blatant signs to look for.

Consider how he handles money. Most fools are abysmal at managing it. He’s the young guy who spends his paychecks on the latest electronics but relies on his parents for room and board. He’s the dropout who won’t return to school because he has no vision for the future. He’s the fellow with zero ambition who mocks others for pursuing goals to achieve their God-given potential. Proverbs 1:7 notes, “Fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

The fool cannot be trusted to fulfill his word, or to meet his obligations. He is often rebellious, disrespectful or deceitful. He may be a reveler who squanders time and money with acquaintances, like Nabal, the party-giver. After the near fiasco with David, “Then Abigail came to Nabal, and behold, he was holding a feast in his house, like the feast of a king. And Nabal’s heart was merry within him, for he was very drunk…” (1 Samuel 25:36)

And yes, he can be a Believer, but not a deeply committed one, just as he’ll make poor husband material. His walk with Christ will be superficial, and after his initial encounter with Jesus, the Savior, the matter screeches to a halt. A fool will seldom devote the effort required to study and expand his relationship with the Lord.

Conversely, he may develop tunnel vision, becoming focused on strange obsessions. He’s often impulsive, leaping from one bad idea to another, or easy prey for con men and get-rich-quick schemes. And he seldom learns from his mistakes, but will return to them because “Like a dog that return to its vomit, is a fool who repeats his folly.” (Proverbs 26:11)

His wife will carry a heavy load. Because of his inadequacies or unconcern, often she’s saddled with sustaining the home or trying to straighten out his messes, working two jobs while he claims there’s no suitable employment. He’ll sit and watch as she fends off bill collectors and struggles to keep the house from being repossessed.

Even if he’s a good provider, or prosperous like Nabal, many of his actions will be irrational. He may be wildly extravagant or super stingy, lacking discretion, and unable to discern motives, or to guard his tongue. He may display pride, arrogance or selfishness for “In the mouth of a fool is a rod of pride.” (Proverbs14:3)

Many a determined woman has convinced herself that she can change her fool’s behavior or thinks that his being a Believer will overcome everything. In fact, the foolish man can often be charming or fun at first, but a shallow fellow soon wears thin. After the romantic haze has lifted, the daily tasks of living with his true nature will begin in earnest.

Bottomline, nobody is perfect. You may be specially designed and equipped to handle the quirks associated with your particular guy, so seek God!

Until next week…Joy and Shalom!

Jo Lynne Pool