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Hi Ladies,

            Today we’re discussing two partnership factors which mesh together, forming a positive attitude that will help your marriage function like the precision gears of a master clock… for both you and your husband.

THE NEGOTIABLE PARTNER

An essential criterion in evaluating a potential mate is his attitude toward sharing and compromise. If after the marriage vows have been pledged, a spouse continues to be overly focused on his own needs and personal preferences, he may be manifesting a self-centered outlook on life.   A strong marriage can neither be established or maintained without stopping to consider a mate’s point of view, and their requests or requirements. In conjunction with prayer, negotiation, tolerance and balance are key ingredients of a loving relationship, and a willingness to accommodate the other partner’s desires is vital.

The selfish person is a ‘Mine’ person – my things, my way. To them, the word ‘share’ has no real meaning since in their mind it is a synonym for ‘take’. Deep down this person fears that if they share something they will lose it, that the other person will keep it. So, they attempt to hold onto what’s ‘theirs’ no matter the cost. This selfishness will destroy marital harmony.

Consider whether either you or your mate-to-be possesses a mindset of fearing that the word ‘compromise’ actually means ‘surrender’, or lowering your standards, or accepting second best. Tolerance and accommodation within marriage does not involve negotiating on basic Christian principles. Instead it indicates that you recognize the needs of another in order to strengthen and build your connection with that person. That is an appropriate viewpoint to expect in a spouse.

THE PROUD MAN

A little pride is a good thing. It’s what makes us work hard at our job, and take good care of our self, our home and our family. It makes us unafraid to witness when we’re proud to be a Believer and eager to tell others about Jesus Christ. It urges us to do our best whatever the tasks we face, and without it most of us just wouldn’t care. But too much pride, like too much of anything, can be a dangerous affliction. This “tare” of pride must be included in our evaluation of men as partnership mates because excessive, stubborn pride is a sin that lands at the very top of God’s ‘Top Sins List’.

Proverbs 6:16, 17 notes, “These six things the Lord hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him: a proud look…” and pride comes first on the list of sins that follow. Psalm 10:4, 73:6; Proverbs 11:2, 13:10, 29:23; Isaiah 25:11, 28:1; Jeremiah 48:29; Daniel 4:37, 5:20; Obadiah 3; Mark 7:22; and 1 John 2:16 are just some of the verses that speak of the evil effects of self-aggrandizing pride. God detests this particular sin because it is a manifestation of a spirit of haughtiness. Proverbs 16:18 reminds us that “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling.” Psalm 101:5 states “The one who has a haughty look and a proud heart, him I will not endure.”

A haughty person is arrogant. They credit themselves for the good aspects of their life, not giving honor and glory to God in humility, but ascribing their successes to their own works. They in effect become their own false god, and Father God will have no part of such an un-submitted spirit. This prideful, unbending willfulness is not only anathema to the Lord; it makes a person nearly impossible to live with. A proud man is unwilling to accommodate others, and there will inevitably be conflicts if this false pride exists in the personality of the man you intend to marry.

As a single Christian lady who still has the option of marrying well, select a godly mate who is negotiable, giving, and committed. Ephesians 5:28, 29 tells us “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.”. Such a man, one who loves and cherishes you as himself, will be the best of all companions for the life journey of marriage.

Another Partner Factor next week…Joy and Shalom!