Hi Ladies,

Let’s discuss more of the saved men who could come into our lives, especially as we mature. They may present challenges, but they’re not bad people, and their situations aren’t unusual or necessarily negative. One of them may even be God’s ordained “treasure”, if you understand and accept the possible ramifications of his circumstances.

LESS EDUCATED MAN: This can be challenging for the partners in a relationship because depending upon their personalities, they may be “unequally yoked”. Perhaps the guy has made it through high school or a year or two of college, but she’s earned an advanced degree. That could be the primary reason that he has significantly lower earning potential, and little chance of ever matching her in salary.

This might not be an issue if they are similar in intelligence, communicate well, and can address and resolve problems together. But she probably needs be clear on the fact that any man, as a male and a Believer, will also likely expect to be head of his household (I Corinthians 11: 3). Very few guys are prepared to relinquish all control to their wife, no matter how accomplished she may be. He had his own set of expectations of what God would give him in a mate, and he already knew, by heart, the day he became a Christian, that the Bible calls for a wife to submit to her husband (Ephesians 5: 22). If she’s not agreeable to that, there may be trouble in the camp.

UNEMPLOYED MAN: This fellow is facing a difficulty, but the primary concern here is whether his unemployment is temporary and resolvable, or is chronic and permanent. Depending upon the economy, anyone is apt to become unexpectedly unemployed. A worthy man in such a situation will make every effort to find suitable work, and he will successfully recover from this setback.

The major issues arise when his unemployment is due to laziness, a slacker personality, a victim mentality or any other defeatist mindset that will render him incapable of holding a long-term position. The type of job is not important – his attitude is. Since Garden of Eden days, man has been destined for some kind of work, and for most guys, the ability to provide for their family is a source of pride and self-esteem. The chronically unemployable man is to be accepted as marriage material only with great caution (See Proverbs 18: 9). The inability to maintain a steady job may indicate deeper ingrained problems.

DIVORCED MAN: Today divorce is so commonplace, even in the church world, that its presence in a man’s background is no longer considered a major flaw. It is just as apt to be present in the past of the woman. And although it’s regrettable to have suffered a failed marriage, it doesn’t prevent a person from moving into a godly relationship.

The concern here is how many divorces and offspring are involved. It is entirely possible that he’s lugging around the remnants of not just one earlier marriage but two or three, complete with vocal ex-wives and multiple youngsters to be provided for. A new wife must accept that child support and/or alimony will be draining their finances for years to come. Alternately, he may be dodging the courts and his former family, a sign of real impending trouble. And there is also the question of why his earlier marriage(s) failed in the first place. Those reasons could impact a new union.

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Ultimately, a confident single lady, in tune with The Almighty, doesn’t require a man for validation of her worth…she is already aware of it. Instead she values him for love, companionship and friendship. And with ample prayer and discernment, she can determine if one of these “treasures” is a fellow who will meet her needs as a husband. The wedding of two of God’s children is the ultimate covenant, second only to our salvation covenant with The LORD Himself, and if Our Father has joined them, their marriage will prosper.

    Next week, we’ll consider the far more troublesome “Saved, Buts…” Joy and Shalom!