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Hi Ladies,

You may be convinced that aside from walking in fellowship with God, you also desire to walk alongside a mate. But there are habits of thought which can keep you from being truly prepared to receive your God-ordained spouse. They can become ingrained patterns that you should be aware of and ready to counteract.

Condemnation:

Do you possess a condemning spirit?  Most of us would automatically answer “No”, but consider for a moment the true attitude you hold toward males. Because of past experiences or hurts, do you generally regard them with suspicion? Do you secretly believe that a good man has become a rare creature, an almost extinct breed?

We ladies are treading on shaky ground if we feel the phrase “man of integrity” is an oxymoron. We may not consider this to be a form of hatred, but it is, and Proverbs 10:12 declares that “Hatred stirs up strife.” Possessing even a subconsciously hostile attitude toward the opposite sex will invariably cause dissension and conflict in a relationship with one.

Balanced thinking is essential to our own mental health, and also because our thoughts manifest in our behavior. The woman who radiates animosity toward guys, clinging to past offences, and always ready with a challenge will find it hard to form a fulfilling marriage. Most fellows, sensing trouble ahead, won’t attempt to know her better, thinking “Why buy into trouble?”

Conversely, a joyous woman, regardless of her exterior, who finds pleasure in the company of others, is as irresistible to them as a rose is to honeybees. To receive love, it is necessary to give it. Being positive and open to enjoying the friendship of godly fellows is a vital component for developing a strong marriage with the partner the Lord has for you.

Motherhood:

If you are a single mother, don’t let the adversary burden you with speculations over your prospects as a wife. Your ordained man will not be scandalized by the fact that you have children. He may have some of his own. And at the very least, he will understand that youngsters are a blessing, and will be receptive to becoming a father figure in their lives.

As for your own attitude toward your offspring, stay upbeat and joyful. Being a good mother, loving and enjoying them and the happiness they bring should be the goal for every mom. They’re looking to you as the resource in their lives, spiritually, emotionally and physically. Our Father will help you provide the love, harmony, peace, understanding, gentleness and warmth that will encourage your young ones to thrive.

Life’s circumstances must not become an excuse for being less than your personal best as a woman and as a mother. No matter the facts of their arrival or your current situation with their father, your children were given to you by our sovereign God as a gift. He is not the author of confusion, nor does He condone sloppiness, weakness, or a victim mentality. Those attitudinal tares will neither make you a good parent or attractive as a potential spouse.

Proverbs 14:1 declares, “Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” A lady minister gave the analogy that if you were a man seeking a place to live, would you prefer the house with the rundown facade, the shabby shack that will drain your physical and financial resources, or the attractive, well-cared-for home? Most people would choose the one that is ready and welcoming. Her advice was “Fix up your house, ladies. After all, you already live there.” And this covers every aspect of our lives.

Proverbs 10:29 states that “The way of the Lord is strength for the upright.” And His way gives us strength to take good care of everything He’s given us. Attention to our health, appearance, children, household, job, spiritual time, leisure activities, and whatever else we have control over is never to be for the benefit of a possible mate, but for our own sense of excellence as God’s chosen Daughter.

There are still more attitudes to consider. Until next week…Joy and Shalom!

Jo Lynne Pool