Magi

Hi Ladies,

Another Partner Factor in a spouse…he needn’t bring riches like the Magi, but he must be your…

FINANCIAL PARTNER

This is essential for peace and stability in your union. Finances are a primary source of marital friction. Fighting over money, the distribution of it, or the lack of it, causes more relationship problems than sexual concerns do.

While courting, couples often overlook this. Most women will automatically assess a man’s earning potential, and can identify and eliminate the lazy, shiftless fellow who’ll disregard his responsibilities toward his household. We understand the words in Proverbs 18:9 – “He also who is slack in his work is brother to him who destroys.” Instead we’re drawn to someone whose values and goals are more compatible with our own.

The concern is not that the couple be identical in their financial habits. A cooperative partnership can readily be formed between a man and woman with divergent attitudes and backgrounds concerning money. The key is that they work together to create a balance where both are comfortable, and upon which they agree…key word – “Agree”!

Disparity in financial outlooks is quite normal in marriages, where opposites often find themselves joined. The partner who happily charges purchases, satisfied that it was “on sale”, has a spouse who agonizingly tries to balance the checkbook to the penny. Or perhaps one habitually buys expensive toys while the other was taught to always save for a rainy day. Who’ll handle the budget?   Will they have joint or separate bank accounts? Will they consult on major purchases, or each go their own way?

Whatever a couple decides for their household isn’t the problem. In the management of funds, the Lord is impartial…whoever is best suited to the task can handle fiscal affairs with Father’s full blessing. The trouble occurs when the spouses refuse to compromise. The ensuing power struggle can easily contaminate every other aspect of their relationship.

Communication about money is crucial before marriage because secrets are destructive to true partnership. Have you discussed charge card debts or credit ratings, child support payments, or outstanding student loans? Do you know that he provides for his mother, and that’s not about to change?

Does he know that you practice self-gratification in spending, and “denial” isn’t in your vocabulary? Does he realize you think of money as an abstract concept, and you expect God, or him, to replenish the coffers as soon as you empty them? Or do you appreciate his elegant style, but don’t perceive that his taste for custom shirts, suits, watches, or extravagant electronics isn’t going away when you two marry?

God has a great deal to say about money, and it’s a blessing intended as a gift for His people. Deuteronomy 8:18 says, “But you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who is giving you power to make wealth.” Many Old Testament saints were wealthy, and money wasn’t a barrier to their godliness. Apostle Paul declares “And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19). 3 John 2 states “Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.”

Prosperity is our birthright as Sons of the King, but God expects us to acquire and properly utilize the funds He’s made available. And in marriage He expects the new couple to use their money wisely. The partners must come to agreement, to oneness in this area, or they will divide into two-ness. Oneness does not require that they think the same. The reason that He often unites opposites in matrimony is because their traits balance each other, and the marriage stays on an even keel.

So, all is not lost if you and your fellow differ about money. However, within marriage, your conflicting ideas must be mitigated by compromise and consensus, and with the Lord’s help, this will happen.   Also, both parties must be completely clear on the fact that our Sovereign God holds the man ultimately accountable for the wellbeing of his family, including its’ finances.

More Factors to come…Joy and Shalom!

Jo Lynne Pool