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Hi Ladies,

“Well, considering all the possible options out there, is this the man for me?” This question is crucial, but difficult to answer. Even though you understand how vital it is to use the Lord’s principles to help identify your life partner, such evaluations can seem too rational a way to decide. “What about love? What about the way he makes me feel when I look into his eyes? Shouldn’t I get all fluttery at the sound of his voice, and weak kneed at the sight of him?”

Actually, there is a happy medium between the two extremes of purely rational analysis and rampant, but fleeting emotions in making this decision of a lifetime. God, of course, is the One who ultimately places the right head with the right body (1 Corinthians 11:3). And when you calmly examine His criteria for identifying your true mate, you’ll also be able to discern the difference between a guy who ignites a flare-up of heat versus one to whom you can make a firm pledge.

It’s far easier to know that your choice is sound when you listen to Holy Spirit with both your heart and your head. Over the next few blogs, we’ll examine the partnership factors that God intends a husband to fulfill inside his marriage, because if he is unable to function in these capacities, your relationship will always be less than it could be. Let’s start now with one of the primary roles that Father ordains your husband to be.

COVENANT PARTNER

No matter the actual verbiage of the marital vows, in the Lord’s sight, by the act of marrying a couple commits themselves to an irrevocable bond. And in a marriage between His followers it is sealed by God Himself. Husband and wife truly “become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24). “Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Mark 10:9). And our Father means it.

Marriage is a biblical covenant and it’s essential to understand what that entails because once the covenant is pledged, you will be bound by God to uphold the vow you’ve taken.

  1. Contracts are drawn up and signed because the participants don’t want to rely solely upon each one honoring their promises. The contract spells out responsibilities and protects their interests if the partnership falls apart.
  2. Covenant is a commitment with unconditional accountability to the partner, as opposed to the limited liability of a contract. It is diametrically opposed to a contractual relationship because it is based on trust, not distrust. And no matter what changes occur in their circumstances or attitudes, the covenant remains in force.

A “vow” is a promise that an individual makes to the Lord, but in covenant vows God responds with a promise as well, and because of His involvement in it, breaking covenant is an extremely serious matter.

Numbers 30: 2 – “If a man makes a vow to the Lord, or takes an oath to bind himself with a binding obligation, he shall not violate his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.”

In Old Testament times, “cutting covenant” was a major undertaking, involving specific oaths and the actual slicing of flesh in a blood bond. For most of us today, however, the marriage vow is the only form of covenant that we will ever pledge, and many of us have trouble honoring just that one. We complain that we didn’t make any real vows during our wedding ceremony. Or if we did actually mouth the words, we either didn’t truly mean them, or didn’t realize exactly what we were saying. Words like “until death do us part”, or “for better or worse” were just slipped in by sneaky church fathers determined to ruin our lives by thwarting any divorce plans.

But that’s precisely why God ordained marriage as a covenant and not simply a contract. It demonstrates the importance that He attaches to the marital relationship. Marriage is the Big Commitment, and if you cannot fulfill such a binding covenantal pledge to a man, you are not ready yet to marry him.

More Partner Factors next week…Joy and Shalom!

Jo Lynne Pool