Hi Ladies,
You already understand that God’s treasures are limitless, but your choices in a mate may not be, and after a while you might begin to widen your “acceptable” criteria. Let’s consider fellows now who may generate concerns, but if he’s the Lord’s provision for you, you won’t feel that you’re settling for less than His best. Pray and listen because both your heart and spirit must know that he’s the spouse whom God has ordained for you, before you marry. With Father’s confirmation, because He has united you as a couple, despite surface pitfalls your marriage will succeed. Here are some of the men who may come along about whom you may have questions.
THE YOUNGER / LESS EDUCATED / UNEMPLOYED / DIVORCED MAN
There is nothing intrinsically wrong with the fellows in these categories if they have a strong commitment to Jesus Christ. A perfectly acceptable guy may wear any of these labels and remain unhindered as he searches for a suitable lady love. The problems occur when a woman is not clearly aware of the possible ramifications of his situation upon their marriage. So, what may surface?
The Younger Man:
As a woman grows more experienced in life, especially when she’s made the effort to maintain her physical, mental and spiritual attractiveness, she may find she’s being courted by a younger man. And to her surprise, she might not be automatically inclined to dismiss him as a potential mate. There can be challenges in such marriages, but if both partners love and are committed to each other and to God, an age difference is workable.
The attentions of a younger man are flattering, and the relationship will thrive when both partners are mature and tolerant. The pitfalls occur if she begins to mother or dominate him, and if the issue of children has not been resolved. Her insecurities and his reaction to her aging may also cause concern.
The Less Educated Man:
This can be challenging for the partners because they may be “unequally yoked” (2 Corinthians 6:14). Perhaps the guy has made it through high school or a year or two of college, but she has earned an advanced degree. That could be the primary reason that he has significantly lower earning potential and may never match her in salary.
This might not be an issue for the couple if they’re similar in basic intelligence, communicate well, and can address and resolve difficulties together. But she probably needs be clear on the fact that any man, as a male and a Believer, will also likely expect to be head of his household. And she must be willing to let him be so, regardless of any financial disparity.
Although she may earn more, very few guys will relinquish all control to their wife. He had his own set of expectations of what God would give him in a mate, and he already knew, by heart, on the day he became a Believer, that the Bible calls for a wife to submit to her husband. If she’s not agreeable to that, there will be trouble in the camp.
The Unemployed Man:
This fellow is facing a significant struggle, but the primary concern is whether his unemployment is temporary and solvable or is chronic and permanent. Anyone can face loss of employment through circumstances outside their control. A worthy man in such a position will make every effort to find suitable work and will successfully recover from this setback.
The problems arise when his unemployment is due to laziness, a slacker personality, a victim mentality or other defeatist attitudes that will render him incapable of ever achieving career satisfaction. Since Garden of Eden days, man has been predestined for work, and for most men, the ability to provide for his family is a source of pride and a major component of his self-esteem. However, the chronically unemployable man is to be approached as marital material only with great caution. His inability to maintain a steady job may indicate deeper issues that will arise in the marriage.
Next week we’ll address the fourth category of husband possibilities…Joy and Shalom!
Jo Lynne Pool
jo lynne pool - Love in The Book.org 