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Hi Ladies,

            Let’s continue examining fellows who are cautioned against in the Word of God. #1 among them is the unsaved, non-believer category of suitors, those guys who unfortunately may be attractive men, seemingly more accessible than the Believers commanded by Scripture.

So, what’s the big deal?   We were all unsaved at some point, and God transformed us into His own. Why can’t you just take a nice unbeliever and get him saved? The woman entertaining this question has high hopes that our Father will work everything out on her behalf. She wants Him to approve the mate she’s chosen, converting him, and making her choice alright in the end. But as I Corinthians 7:16 questions, “For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?”

Although this has occasionally happened, unless Jesus Christ is in complete control, this hopeful lady risks being disobedient and rebellious. If she proceeds against God’s will, she may find herself in a dire situation, entering into a binding covenant with a man who has no connection with the Creator to whom she has submitted her life.

Meanwhile, because of the sacredness of the marriage vows, she will be bound to her husband regardless of his possibly godless actions. Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:13 directs that “And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.” In verse 15, he states “yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave.”

The specific situation that Paul was addressing was when, in the early days of Christianity, few people were saved but multitudes were daily coming to faith in Jesus. Often a woman would become a follower of Christ but return home to a husband who did not believe. Paul did not advocate her abandoning that husband and marriage, and this directive has not been changed. If an unsaved woman experiences salvation, she is to remain with her husband unless he chooses to leave. It does not mean, however, that a woman who is a Believer is free to go out and marry a non-believer, embarking upon a relationship unsanctioned by God.

If you should willfully choose to disobey the Lord and wed a non-believer anyway, you are implicitly accepting all that will entail. You’ll deal not only with the normal marital stresses, but also with those intrinsic to your differing world views. And as a wife, you may well experience the true despair of loving a person and being unable to influence him to salvation, knowing each day that your husband remains a lost soul. You will also discover the reality of the question posed in Amos 3: 3: “Can two walk together unless they are agreed?”

The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing:

Another snare for ladies is the man posing as a Believer. Meeting him in church is no guarantee of his position in Christ, because occupying a pew (like the one in the photo) doesn’t mean he’s truly been saved. The old analogy remains true…“Sitting in church won’t make you a Christian any more than sitting in the garage will make you a car.” Many men, including unsaved ones, still believe that church is a good place to find a wife. Instead of assuming, you must “test the spirits” (1 John 4:1) of any fellow you’re interested in, and if he has experienced his own personal salvation, your spirit will bear witness and confirmation.

If you do feel tempted to venture into the unbelieving world in search of love, you must resist the urge by understanding the doubt from which it springs. Let God lead you onto the path you should take. Your husband-to-be, your future happiness, and your relationship with Father Himself are all at stake. Compromise and disobedience will never ensure the unfolding of the Lord’s perfect plan for your life. And don’t try to fool yourself by pretending you’re only dating him to get him saved. Unsaved men must be bypassed because, as my pastor says, “God has not called you to missionary dating!”

Until next week…Joy and Shalom!

Jo Lynne Pool