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Hi Ladies,

Have you ever had days when you’ve looked around and wondered what God was doing? No surprise since there’ll be a million questions swirling in your head while you await the arrival of the man God’s designated for you to marry.  But, I AM, the Sovereign King has already ordained what will happen in your life, and we’re going to chip away at those questions, one by one.

We’ve mentioned the psychological tares of attraction to money or looks in a man, but maybe those aren’t your criteria at all. Instead, prestige or status may matter more, or as one lady said, “Anything as long as he’s a preacher.”  We all have non-negotiable areas in our evaluations of the opposite sex, and they’re not necessarily weaknesses.  Instead they form your core values, and God will honor them in the husband He’s designed for you.

My own non-negotiable, besides strong Christian faith, was intelligence. It didn’t matter what college degrees my husband possessed if he could keep up with me mentally.  But I would not deal with any guy who was an idiot by my standards.  So, the Lord blessed me with a spouse who matches intellectually, and with the criteria of faith and brains present, I was willing to overlook “flaws”.

This type of innate preference is a “bent” or trait God Himself puts into your personality. However, it’s crucial to prayerfully identify those seducers and temptations that you may also be enticed by.  They are not the same as the values that God has implanted within you that make you who you are.  Instead they’re traps which Satan will recognize and try to place in your path.

Possibly for you, wealth actually is non-negotiable, and you will never be happy with a man with limited earning potential. Your guy could be below average in height or appearance and thirty years older, but that wouldn’t be a problem as long as he can afford you.  Or maybe spectacular handsomeness, however fleeting, is an absolute essential for your groom – if such is the case, then hunker down and wait for God to deliver.  You’ll be happier foregoing marriage altogether, rather than settling for a husband who will be struggling financially for the rest of his life.  Or walking down the aisle with a guy who is physically unappealing, no matter what other attributes he may possess.

Your decision to avoid such entanglements is an honorable choice, if you don’t jump ship and hitch to a non-believer just because he meets your surface requirements. With such a choice, you will have crossed the line and fallen sway to a seducer.

The difference between wheat and tares is subtle but real, and Satan’s goal is always to tempt you away from God, and from your faith. If any choice leads you in that direction, it’s the wrong one.  An excellent way to be certain that you’re rightly discerning Father’s Will is when you experience perfect peace about the decisions you make.

  • I Corinthians 14: 33 – “For God is not a God of confusion, but of peace…”
  • Philippians 4: 6.7 – “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Such peace comes from God alone, from His guiding our steps. If you attempt to obtain your goals in some other way, such as marrying for them, the results are likely to be both unpleasant and unfortunate.  But remember I Corinthians 10: 13 – “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.”

Stay prayerful about every person and situation you encounter, and with God’s leading, you won’t be seduced by tares, but will be able to spot them as they sprout up among the Lord’s wheat.

Joy and Shalom!