Hi Ladies,
Make sure all of your connections are tight and that everything fits together as it should when it comes to your relationship with a potential mate. Never disregard signs warning of impending trouble in the man you’re considering. Rather than ignore any possible disconnects, keep your eyes open and proceed cautiously. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect with your fellow, but you and he must agree on most things, or at least understand each other’s point of view if you disagree. Assuming that your guy is a Believer, as the Bible calls for him to be, this most important connection should be secure, and other linkages will proceed from that foundation.
If you desire marriage, diligently seek God’s direction for the gift of a good man, one who, according to Isaiah 33: 15, “walks righteously and speaks uprightly…” Psalm 113 offers a further description of the virtues to look for a man, and study 2 Timothy 3 in its entirety for a vivid description of what you should avoid. Lastly, listen to what your own spirit tells you about the character of the man you desire. There will be plentiful clues available to show you what he’s really like, and the Holy Spirit will quicken your awareness of them, if you will only listen to your inner voice. If you and the Lord stay in close contact with each other, He will not let you blunder foolishly ahead without attempting to guide you away from trouble.
You may wonder if your Christian mate-to-be could be anything other than a paragon of virtue, and yes, it’s entirely possible that he may still be under construction. Remember that despite his current position as a Believer, a saved follower of Jesus Christ, this may be a man who was unsaved for at least a portion of his adult life. His personality traits may have been fully formed in the world, and although God has probably wrought a tremendous work, or even a miraculous change in his life, he may still be prone to some of the old habits and ways that linger from the past. And under certain conditions, they may reappear.
In earlier blog posts, we evaluated some of the temperament issues in men that single Christian ladies need to be especially wary of, and the Scripture verses that specifically warn against involvement with them. These posts are at http://www.loveinthebook.com. Those negative traits are particularly prone to reappearance in stressful situations or in periods of trial, and may occasionally recur until Christ has eased them into the background or removed them permanently. When God confirms that this man has achieved control over his old habits and consistently wards off attempts of his old self to rear its ugly head, then you may feel reassured enough to marry. But, until he arrives at that totally transformed state, both you and he may still have to confront remnants of the old man.
Our Father can, of course, correct any such problematic characteristics, but can you successfully live in marriage with this fellow while you wait it out? Not all of the Lord’s transformations occur overnight. Many require patience, tolerance and long-suffering effort to war against the attempts of the enemy to return them to dominance, and issues may lie ahead. But most can be successfully conquered when your Christian man obeys God’s admonition to love his wife. A woman who is truly loved can put up with almost any imperfections. Some verses that help us understand the love a husband should have for his lady include:
Colossians 3: 19 – “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.”
Ephesians 5: 28 – “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.” Ecclesiastes 9: 9 – “Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life.”
A man who works hard to honor his obligations as a Christian husband is a good, godly man, one to be treasured by his lady. The man who seeks to please God will also please you.
Until next week…Joy and Shalom!
jo lynne pool - Love in The Book.org 