Single & Married Ladies – Pointing Him Out?

Hi Ladies,

Let’s get back to the fellows now.  Have you already foreseen a particular man as being your future husband?  Very often when a new year begins, we receive new visions for what our future may hold, or at least for what we want it to be.  And if marriage is one of your goals, you know you mustn’t set out to find a mate…that’s the work of The LORD.  But has your awareness of a certain potential spouse confused your Vision?  Now when you gaze out into the distance, you see him and infinite possibilities… and possibly the Hand of God at work.

Chapter 4 in my book, A GOOD MAN IS HARD TO FIND…Unless You Ask God to be Head of Your Search Committee is titled “How Not to Do It”.   Or “Don’t Say God Says It’s You!”   As we’ll see, this is advice straight from Our Father.

THE STAGE

Most Christians are happy to spend time in church or in Bible study, and prefer the company of other Believers.  We draw strength from each other, and our faith is renewed when we feel weak or tempted to give up.  God designed us that way.  And as a single, you will be happiest, and enjoy your life as God intended it, in the company of others in the Body of Christ.

However, for many single ladies, this can lead to a problem of a different sort. You, along with a billion or so of your sisters, have restricted your activities to church, you only date Christian men, and now you find yourself limited to a setting that is predominately female, where the arrival of an unattached male is a cause for celebration.  He is usually pleasantly surprised to find that, whether good-looking or not, he is surrounded by dozens of attractive, well-dressed, friendly ladies, all of whom are secretly wondering, “Is this one going to be my husband?”  Subtle and not-so-subtle bids will be made for his attention, sometimes even by parents in the church who are scouting for their single daughters.  He generally becomes busy and happy, and not too eager to make a final decision on a wife.

PHASE 1 – Prophecy/Prediction Syndrome

This unfortunate “shortage” of single Christian men leads many women, especially in more charismatic circles, to fall victim to Prophecy/Prediction Syndrome.   Wherever the gifts of The Spirit are in evidence, the Syndrome is common.

A typical scenario is created by a lady whose mating urge is in full bloom. She’s been praying and asking The LORD for months or maybe years for the arrival of her man.  Suddenly a new guy appears at church, or perhaps he is already in place at a new church she’s joined.  In any case, he looks like the man she has been waiting for.  Whether or not he shares her attraction is irrelevant.  At first she tries to maintain control and not be too obvious around him, to wait on God, but she finds that her prayers are taking on a new direction.  He begins to show up in them sometimes and maybe in her dreams as well.

She decides to become a bit friendlier toward him. Maybe she seeks him out for special Christian hugs, or always has a smile or a helpful word for him.  Sometimes he develops a mild, but not serious interest, or he may remain totally unaffected.  She is undeterred from what is becoming increasingly obvious to her.  She starts to ask The LORD about him, then begins to tell The LORD about him.  Her prayers change from “Lord, is he the one?” to “Lord, he is the one!”

If the relationship, either real or potential, seems to not be developing swiftly enough, or not along the lines she wants, a hint of doubt enters her mind. She is, after all, a saved woman…she must look to God for her answers.  During prayer time she once again questions, “Lord, is he the one?”  The subtext to the question this time is actually “Lord, show me a sign that he’s the one.”  And so it begins…

The phases progress next week…Joy and Shalom!