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Hi Ladies,

Are you his friend? And is he yours?   Being friends is crucial to love, and is #6 on the checklist of 12 Ways to Know He’s Right for You – He is your friend.  And you’ve known each other long enough to have formed a relationship that demonstrates his attachment.

If you’re still seeking a partner, build a friendship first. Since dating is today’s accepted means of meeting a spouse, as a Believer, there is a simple evaluation to make when considering whether or not to “go out” with a man.  If you like him well enough to go on a date with him, then you should like him enough to be his friend.  Friendship is what you must develop, and if you wouldn’t want to have him as a friend, you certainly shouldn’t be going out with him.

When you immediately consign men to your discard pile without first getting to know them, you’re wasting a unique opportunity. Although he may not be a fellow you’d marry, he’s valuable to Our Father nevertheless.  God calls upon us to exhibit an unselfish attitude that does not seek to get what we can, but instead to give to others.

Nurturing a Christian friendship with a guy who has asked you out may not be an option if he decides to move on, or has other activities in mind, but you should at least be willing to try. Marriage is a lifelong covenant, and you two must be friends in order for it to survive!

Faux Love

Love develops from friendship; but there is a Faux (False) Love based in lust, and we must be able to distinguish between the two.  Just because your sky lights up when he enters the room doesn’t mean it’s love.

Our Father’s design is that we function always as Spirit, Soul and Body. In a blossoming relationship, first comes oneness of spirit; followed by oneness of emotions; then lastly, physical oneness.  Spirit, Soul, and Body become connected and in that order.

SPIRIT:   During courtship the man and woman confirm their relationship to Jesus Christ and explore their commitment to Him.

SOUL:   Also in courtship, the couple enjoys a uniting of their minds, wills and emotions. Friendship bonds them, followed by love, and the possibility of building a life together.  This unity of souls allows them to know and trust one another, and to understand how the other person thinks.

This development of strong emotional intimacy is the practical foundation upon which their marriage will be built. It is the melding that truly meshes them, the connection that deepens into love and forms the cord that binds them.  Together with their oneness of spirit, it is the rock upon which they will stand to weather the inevitable marital storms.

BODY:   This last oneness takes place physically after the wedding vows are completed.  When the covenant pledge that consecrates their union in the eyes of both God and man has been sealed, then this final linkage can take place.  Until then intimacy is to be avoided because faux love is initiated by physical sensations.

The touch of a man, the feel of his lips, or the warmth of his embrace can all make a woman feel ‘in love’. The emotions aroused when a person is captivated by physical intimacy are often mistaken for love, when in reality they are only manifestations of passion.  Real love is built upon a firm foundation of awareness, acceptance, commitment and friendship between two people.  When love develops in God’s ordained order, the basis for their emotion is strong, but not blind, because the couple has learned each other on all three levels.

As with everything that The LORD has designed for us, His steps to marriage are established for our good. His order sets the foundation for the happiness, strength and stability of a godly wedded relationship.

And true love certainly includes physical love, expressed beautifully in:

Song of Solomon 5: 16 – “His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely.   This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.”

Joy and Shalom! hen