Single & Married Ladies – Is He Right for You?

Hi Ladies,

The man we’re discussing now may be tempting if you’re single, and problematic if you’re married to him. #2 on the list of 12 Ways to Know He’s Right for You is that “He is saved”.  And this guy is not.

I’m sure you already know that God in the Bible has a strong opinion on this subject. If you’re a Believer, the man you marry must also be a Believer, a follower of Jesus Christ, who has experienced salvation through the Blood of the Lamb on Calvary’s cross!  He cannot simply be a pew sitter in the church house, unless of course you are…in that case, you may proceed!

And yes, I’m going to drag this often-quoted verse out because it’s in Scripture for good reason:

2 Corinthians 6: 14-16: “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness?  And what communion has light with darkness?  And what accord has Christ with Belial?  Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?  And what agreement has the temple of God with idols?  For you are the temple of the living God.”

Despite the way you may feel sometimes, these verses and similar others aren’t intended as a ploy to limit your husband options.  There are many Christian ladies who‘ve travelled this road before.  They’ve made the mistake of marrying this fellow, and can confirm that Our Father knows best!

Hiding in the Flock

Sometimes we can be misled because there are many wolves mixed in among God’s flock of Believers. They may have membership in a church, and get dressed up every Sunday to attend services, but it’s a façade.

In earlier blogs we’ve analyzed God’s order for courtship. The correct progression is:  #1 – Establish oneness of Spirit;  #2 – Build oneness of Soul;  #3 – Experience and enjoy oneness of Body after marriage.  The most important of these connections is the spiritual, which will allow you to know if you two are equally matched.  And you‘ll also recognize if your fellow is merely a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

But we ladies often experience uncertainty when these fellows show up. They can look good on the surface and may appear to be the answer to our prayers, but they bring serious issues. Primary among these issues is the urge to question God’s intention, to doubt His Word, or to walk away from His promises.

The vital question to consider is “To whom does he listen and submit?” When a man is about to assume the crucial role of being your wedded mate for life, only one who is a Believer will receive his directions from Christ Himself.  Only such a man can be trusted, in turn, to be a reliable leader for you and your family.

Unfortunately, interesting and interested non-believers may be all around you, and they can seem to be far more available than the scare-as-hens’ teeth Christian guys.

So what’s the big deal?   We were all unsaved at some point in our lives, and God transformed us into His Own.  Why can’t we just take a nice unbeliever and get him saved?  But that’s not our decision to make – its’ God’s.

The woman entertaining this question has high hopes that Our Father will work everything out on her behalf. She wants Him to give His approval to the mate she has chosen, convert him, and make her choice alright in the end.  But as I Corinthians 7: 16 questions, “For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?…”

God has given no guarantee of this man’s future salvation. Yet she will be entering into a binding covenant with a person who receives no direction from The Creator to whom she has submitted her life.  Although she’ll retain God’s compassion and love, by her own willfulness and disobedience, she may have circumvented the marital blessing that He purposed for her.

It’s essential to stop and pray before allowing yourself to be tempted by doubt and unbelief into settling for less than Our LORD’s best choice for you.

#3 next week… Joy and Shalom!