Your Need 3

Hi Ladies,

Here’s another essential characteristic that a godly woman needs from her mate. It corresponds to the need that Our Father has placed within His men to provide for their families.  We require that aspect of his character as well, forming a perfect balance per The LORD’s design.

FINANCIAL PARTNER

The Scriptures have much to say about money – it is a blessing and a gift from God: Deuteronomy 8: 18:  “And you shall remember the LORD your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth.”;   Philippians 4: 19:  “And my God shall supply all your needs, according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”;  III John 2: “Beloved, I pray you may prosper in all things, and be in health, just as your soul prospers.”

Prosperity is our God-given birthright, but Our Father expects us to learn to acquire and properly utilize the funds that He makes available to us. And when we marry, He expects us to use our money properly as a couple.

Amos 3: 3 asks “Can two walk together unless they are agreed?”  Financial concerns are not an insignificant matter.  The two people in a relationship must come to agreement, to oneness and unity in this area, or they will divide into two-ness.  Oneness doesn’t require that they think exactly the same.  God often unites opposites in matrimony because their tendencies balance each other, and the marriage stays on an even keel.

But in the courtship stage, this is an area that couples may overlook or choose to ignore. Most women will automatically assess a man’s earning potential very early in a relationship.  And most will eliminate the lazy, shiftless fellow who will disregard his God-given responsibilities toward his household.  Instead we’re likely to be drawn to someone whose values, career prospects and goals are more compatible with our own.

The concern is not that the couple be identical in their financial styles. A cooperative partnership can be formed between a man and woman with different attitudes and backgrounds in handling money.  The key is that they work together to create a balance where both are comfortable and upon which they can agree.

Any arrangement is acceptable in God’s sight as long as the partners are in unity about it. In the distribution of funds, The LORD is impartial.  He doesn’t care who earns more, and whoever is best suited to the task can handle the fiscal affairs of the home with Our Father’s blessing.  The trouble occurs when the spouses refuse to compromise.  The ensuing financial power struggle can easily contaminate every other aspect of their relationship.

Communication about money matters is crucial before marriage because secrets can be destructive to achieving a true partnership. Have you and your intended talked about your charge card balances, or credit ratings?  Has he revealed the child support court order, or have you confessed the outstanding student loans?  Do you understand that he’s been the sole support of his mother since his parents divorced, and that’s not going to change, even with a new wife?

Does he know that you’ve always practiced self-gratification with regard to spending, and that the word “denial” is not part of your vocabulary? Does he realize that money is essentially an abstract concept to you and that you’re secretly expecting God, or him, to replenish the coffers as soon as you empty them?  Or do you appreciate his sophisticated, expensive style, but haven’t yet understoodd that his taste for custom shoes, tailored suits, or expensive electronics is not going away when you two marry?

Within marriage, these conflicting ideas must be mitigated by compromise and consensus, and with The LORD’s help, this will happen.  So all is not lost if you and your guy disagree about money.  But both parties must be clear on the fact that Our Sovereign God holds the man ultimately accountable for the wellbeing of his family, including its finances.   Before heading down the aisle, consider your needs in this area, and spend honest discussion time with both God and with your guy.

Until next week…Joy and Shalom!