Your Need 2

Hi Ladies,

The second requirement we ladies need from our man is his commitment to us. Of course he must already share our commitment to Christ, but God ordains a special type of commitment in a marital partner.  To me, this picture of my friends Rich and Chris is a great illustration of the joyous commitment that a godly marriage can nurture.

COMMITTED PARTNER

Commitment goes much further than the wedding vow to “forsake all others”.  It keeps a marriage together, and is the factor that lasts after the starry eyed lust, often mistaken for “love” has dissipated.  Commitment, not romance, is the true nature of love because real love is not based upon human affection.  Affection is a fleeting emotion, but love is established by making a binding pledge to the other person, then following through with words, attitudes, and actions.  But the commitment must be there first.

The dictionary.com definition for “Commit” is, “To give in trust; to consign for preservation; to pledge oneself to a position; to bind or obligate; to entrust, especially for safekeeping.”  When we commit ourselves in marriage to another, we entrust them with our heart, our wellbeing and every facet of our love.  And we accept those same accountabilities toward them.

Colossians 3: 14 advises “But above all these things put on love which is the bond of perfection.”

Notice the words “put on” in this verse – they indicate that love is a decision, which can be put on or taken off, as one chooses.  Real love is not a vapor that evaporates, never to be retrieved, but is instead a decision, an act of faith and will. It is an attitude that determines the actions we take, and the choices that we build upon and stand by.

The man we marry should clearly understand and accept this concept.  He must be a person who will commit to being our partner in life, no matter what.  Romance, enthusiasm and desire are positive emotions in courtship, and are even more enjoyable within marriage.  But these pleasant experiences are intended to enhance our relationship, not to form the sole basis for them.

The firm commitment of a husband to his wife and to his marital vows is what will allow her to trust him not only with her heart, but also with their marriage. With an honest commitment of trust, rooted upon a mutual foundation in The LORD, we will not need to track a man’s behavior every minute of the day in order to know that he is truly ours.  Infidelity is not a concern, because as a Believer he will be bound by and will honor the behavioral restrictions that Our Father requires of His good, godly males.

When commitment is our relationship priority, we can more clearly see past the haze of our emotions, and say no to the fellow who demonstrates only a surface attraction to us. We can detect and decline the attentions of one who cannot accept the “real” you, or who fantasizes “his” woman up onto an pedestal designed for an “angel” rather than a genuine person.

We learn to be skeptical of the man who seriously announces that “you must never change, because you are perfect the way you are”, because change is inevitable. We will avoid the guy who doesn’t like to see us without makeup or with undone hair, or who worries that we  will gain weight, or who wants to dress us up like his imagined ideal.

We can detect the fellow who will be at a loss for what to do with us after the passion season has ebbed, when the household includes noisy youngsters and chores. We will recognize the man with wrong priorities, or the one who instead regards himself as flawless, spotless or wrinkle-free.  None of these men will last inside marriage, and as a smart Believer, we’ll allow them to move off along their own ordained life paths.

But with a man’s genuine commitment to us, we’ll have a firm foundation upon which to base a future together.  More feminine needs still to come…Joy and Shalom!