So What Do You Need?

Hi Ladies,

After considering masculine needs, it’s time to look at what we ladies require in our godly mate. We’ve already covered the God-ordained feminine need for love, so these are the additional requirements for our spiritual wellbeing in a relationship.  One of the most overlooked and unrecognized traits that ladies need from our man is his attitude of being our Champion.

CHAMPION

                Starting back when we were little girls, we’re naturally responsive to the oppositeness and the strength inherent in men.  God Himself designed us to respond this way, to prize his physique and voice, to admire his brains and his brawn.  And no matter his actual physical dimensions, we value his maleness, just as he values our femininity.  As women we want a champion, and when we marry, he’s the one.

Dictionary.com defines “Champion” as “a person who fights for another or for a cause; defender, protector, supporter.”  We expect our husband, the man who has selected us above all others, to value us.  We want him to protect and defend us, love us, and take on and fend off the world for us.  Even if we don’t look for him to do this literally, on an emotional level we crave this attitude in our chosen guy.

One of the deepest of marital wounds occurs when a husband shirks the responsibility to champion his wife.  A man who ceases to prize her, who declines responsibility as her protector and supporter will cause a wife to feel emotionally abandoned, left to face hurt, angers and frustrations alone.  This is not what God intended for marriage.

In His design, the husband forms an umbrella of protection for his wife and family. When sheltered under his headship, the attacks of the world and of Satan fall around them, unable to breach the boundaries of safety that his caring provides.  Under God’s direct leadership, he can function capably as head of his household.

I Corinthians 11: 3 describes this positioning as “…the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”   In I Peter 3: 7 men are directed “Likewise you husbands, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”

Take a careful look at any man you may be considering. How do you truly see him?  How does he treat you?  Is he the “Giant” – emotionally and spiritually the strong, powerful, good man with positive traits that you can live with and cherish forever, the man who will be your supporter, protector and champion?  Or perhaps he’s not such a mythic creature.  Giants are rare, so don’t fantasize.  Take off any blinders of love and expectations that you may be wearing, and try to see him with clear eyes and a clearer head.

If this is not a man you can admire, what are your motivations for marrying? Are you choosing him for money, or because you want children?  Is he a ticket out of your parent’s home, or the answer to an unbearable longing to be a bride?   Is the wedding dress you bought five years ago on faith starting to yellow, and now you’re getting anxious?  Or are you simply tired of waiting and have decided to settle, or are afraid of missing God entirely by being too picky?  Motivations can be complicated, and may lead to places you didn’t intend to go.

No woman should settle for a man who doesn’t, in the words of many marriage vows, “love, honor and cherish” her. He is to be her “strong tower” (Psalm 61: 3 – “For thou hast been a shelter for me and a strong tower from the enemy”), and his willingness to protect and care for her is one thing she must never compromise on.  Such a commitment cannot be faked, and without it a key ingredient of the marriage is missing.  She will never be a truly joyful wife.

More lady needs to come.   Joy and Shalom!