Need 2

Hi Ladies,

Here’s the second of the three basic needs that Our Father has placed in men. Understanding them gives us more insight than those who are unaware of these innate male qualities.  How we use this knowledge is up to us.

LEADERSHIP

The LORD Himself assigns to the man a leadership role in marriage. Leading is a burden, and it implies benevolence of purpose, a desire to serve the best interests of those whom God has given him the care of.  A true leader functions more as a servant than a master, and is authorized by God to see that his family arrives at the best, most beneficial place for them to be.

A few scriptures are:

Genesis 1: 26 – “Let Us make man in Our image…and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea…”

Genesis 3: 16 – “Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.”

Ephesians 6: 22-24 – “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the LORD. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.  Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”

The spirit of competition is useful in many areas of life, but when it pits a woman against her spouse in a struggle for supremacy, it’s destructive. Anything with two heads is problematic, and that includes families.  A 21^st Century single lady may view this mindset with disdain, but as Believers we must at least try to understand why God ordains it.

Leadership brings headship and control, and men naturally strive for and vie with each other for it. They’re competitive in business, in sports, in seeking female attention, and in myriad other ways.  They expect and even enjoy the struggle for dominance among themselves, but most either openly or subconsciously resent having to compete for authority with the woman they love.  A wise lady accepts this aspect of the male ego, and grants her husband this right.

Often the reason for a wife’s rejection of her man’s leadership is a lack of trust in his decision-making capabilities.  That’s the real cause behind much of the nagging that so aggravates guys.  Even the Bible dislikes nagging:

Proverbs 21: 9 – “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”

Proverbs 27: 15 – “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.”

This wife may not want or intend to be a nag, but her perceptions may differ greatly from her husband’s.  She knows how she would handle a situation, and her doubts arise when his opinion doesn’t coincide with hers.  Her only solution may be to complain or pester.

But it’s important that she realize he might not think exactly like her, and that’s probably one of his strengths.  Rather than contesting every decision, and enduring the bickering and strife that inevitably follows, her best course would be prayer.  If she prays for God to guide his choices, she can safely yield to them in her actions, unless of course they’d adversely affect the wellbeing of the family.

When we subside and let our fellow assume the leadership position, we give him a vote of confidence and a crucial ego boost. He may immediately ask our input or suggestions, but seeking counsel is his prerogative as leader.  In fact, Proverbs 19: 20 declares that a man should “Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter days.”  That’s not an admission of weakness, but a gesture of strength and a wise move for keeping peace in the family.

Hopefully, as a single, if you’re interested in a man, he’s earned your respect and admiration in the first place, or you would not be considering him as God-given husband material. Assuming that’s the case, allowing him to lead will then come naturally.

Next Wednesday, we’ll review Need #3. Have a great week! Joy and Shalom!