SO, What Does He Need?

Hi Ladies,

Time now to consider what a Man of God truly needs in a wife. We’ll disregard the faults a fellow may possess, and will instead explore the attitudes that a wise woman can demonstrate which will make her an exceptional and invaluable asset in his life.

There are three deeply seated, innermost necessities mandated by his masculinity that only his feminine counterpart can supply. A man will always be drawn to the woman who reacts to him in these ways, and they’re straight from our textbook, the Bible.

#1:   RESPECT/ADMIRATION

This is one of a man’s most important psychological requirements, rivaling even the desire for physical intimacy.  The lady who displays this attitude provides a validation essential to his sense of wellbeing and self-esteem.

Dictionary.com defines “Respect” as “Esteem for, or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person;  proper acceptance or courtesy;  acknowledgment;  the condition of being esteemed or honored.” “Admiration” entails “the act of looking on or contemplating with pleasure; an object of wonder, pleasure or approval.”

The woman who views a man with respect and admiration will show him honor, hold him in high regard, and will consider him with deference.  Many ladies today are scornful of such attitudes, prizing our independence, and hesitant to give “preference” to a man.  Although we may demonstrate respect toward authority figures such as fathers or pastors, we won’t offer similar validation to a boyfriend or husband, even while we’re willing to give him our time and affection.

Scriptural confirmations of this requirement? Ephesians 5: 33 – “And let the wife see that she respects her husband.”    I Peter 3: 1-6 notes that even a non-believing husband may be won over by observing a wife’s “chaste conduct”. In 2 Samuel 6: 16-23, David’s wife, Michal, sabotaged her marriage by “despising him in her heart”, the exact opposite of respecting him.  And Queen Vashti, in Esther 1: 9-12, lost her crown for humiliating her husband before his court by refusing his request.  Even if she justifiably had little respect for him, she was still duty bound to honor his position.

On the other hand, the energetic paragon in Proverbs 31 treated her husband well and reaped eternal praise for her many virtues.  Proverbs 31: 11, 12 – “The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

The Bible never instructs a woman to love her husband.  Only the man is commanded to love.  The first portion of the verse in Ephesians 5: 33 says, “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself…”  Ephesians 5: 28 says, “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.”  This admonition to show love is given to the husband because displaying unconditional love tends to be harder for men.  Also see Colossians 3: 19 and Ecclesiastes 9: 9.

On the other hand, we women, by God’s intent, are designed to be nurturers and givers of love.  We can decide to love a man because of or in spite of, without any special respect for him.   On the other hand, we most crave our fellow’s love and affection.  We value his regard for our feelings, and most of all, his commitment to forsake all others and love us eternally.

People seek out that which is hard to get, and the characteristics of men and women balance and complement each other. One is strong in the area where the other is weak, and it works out exactly as Our Father planned.  A woman gains respect for a husband who loves her, and a man learns to love and cherish the wife who respects and admires him.  I understand that this concept may seem old-fashioned , but try viewing a man you’re interested in with respect and admiration, and tell him that…his response will convince you that The LORD knows what He is doing!

Next, we’ll look at the second Need of a godly man….Joy and Shalom!