Hi Ladies!
Now, let’s move up another step on our “rocky road” fellows to…THE ADDICTED MAN
Okay, you’re probably wondering, “What woman in her right mind would marry this guy?” But you’d be surprised!
The addict is a person who has no control over his “Self”, but instead battles the urge to give in to an addiction. He is like the unfortunate soul in Proverbs 25: 28: “Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down without walls.”
In other words, he has no boundaries to set limitations on his behavior. He is the man whose need for alcohol controls his day, even though he may manage to hold down a job. He’s the one who is secretly feeding a drug habit, or who is fighting the obsession to gamble. He may even be addicted to sex.
A Believing woman may be willing to marry this man if he has submitted his life to Christ. Almost without exception, the addiction began before Jesus transformed him. His deliverance was probably part of his salvation experience, and he’s walked away from the addicting behavior. In this cleaned up state, he may look like good marriage material, and my goal is not to dissuade you from proceeding…only to make you aware of potential problems.
When Troubles Start
The troubles in this relationship will occur if the man backslides and his old habits regain their foothold. Addictions can wreak havoc because if the person was converted while under their influence, he must stay constantly vigilant to prevent Satan from seizing control of his actions again. Paul in Galatians 5: 1 admonishes us to “Stand fast in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.”
This can be difficult because the devil is unlikely to relent on this particular battle, and he doesn’t fight fair. If the man weakens, the enemy will be waiting with temptations to embrace the old cravings. Renewed addictions will dominate a marriage, stripping away money and possessions, and causing dissension and grief for both partners. The resulting struggle to wage spiritual and physical warfare to regain lost ground will consume the household.
A wife unwittingly entangled in such a relationship will find that no amount of nagging, criticizing or tears will change an addicted husband. Only God Himself can restore their damaged union, and the matter is ultimately out of her control. She must prayerfully fight for her husband, and continually seek The LORD’s guidance for strength. Only when the addiction has been handed fully over to Him, can the marriage become secure. God alone can clear away the dark storm clouds over their relationship, and restore clear skies.
Surely, you think, a charming ex-alcoholic or ex-drug addict, now a redeemed Believer, can never again succumb to an addiction from which he has been successfully delivered. You may be right, and for your particular fellow, it might never become an issue, but denial of the possibility doesn’t erase it.
Pray hard for Our Father’s answer, and if you are determined to spend the rest of your life with this man, evaluate where you are in God’s timing. Is marrying him a rushed decision? Have honest conversations together, and listen carefully to your guy.
If you proceed with caution, and if after sufficient time he has remained strong in his spiritual life and completely addiction-free, then marriage should be okay. But only God Himself can give you the unequivocal go-ahead, and only then will this fellow be ready to meet you at the altar.
Next week’s SAVED – BUT #3 will be even more challenging! Joy and Shalom!
jo lynne pool - Love in The Book.org 