Hi Ladies
The concerns with the men we’ve considered so far are related to their circumstances rather than their personality. Now we’re moving on to fellows who are much more challenging because their issues are ingrained in their nature. The woman who marries one of these guys must be gifted by God with special tolerance for the “rocky path” she will encounter with him.
We all have times when our own urges, or the whispers of the enemy, can lead us to put on blinders about certain men. We simply choose to not see what is right in front of us, especially if we suspect that it might remove a potential husband from our life. Our Gracious Father, however, never lets us enter into a situation, or a marriage, completely blind. If there’s a problem looming, somewhere in the back of our minds will be a flashing red light, a voice of caution saying, “DON’T”, but we may decide to ignore those warnings, to our ultimate detriment.
However, maybe you’re just not certain anymore. Increasingly, thoughts of “I’m tired of waiting”, or “This may be the only (or last) man who will ever ask me to marry him”, may interfere with decision-making. As a Believer, you’ve probably prayed to receive the mate God has promised…and we all know that Our Father is likely not to answer prayers in exactly the manner we expect. So could this fellow actually be from Him, and should you open your heart to him?
The guys we’re going to evaluate now are “SAVED…BUT” Believers. They’ve experienced Christ’s work of salvation in their lives, and may have stirring testimonies of Jesus’ redemption. But being saved does not automatically mean that a man is problem-free. He may still be a work in progress, just as you also may be.
And with these particular fellows, the work is likely to get intense, turning daily life with him into a challenge for even the most loving and patient woman. Only you, under the guiding Hand of Our Sovereign LORD, can make the decision that this man is worthy of your efforts. Only you can know if you’re willing to commit fully to him, that you are up to the tasks you will face as his wife, and that you will deal with problems as they arise.
The issues with these men require in-depth examination, and we’ll thoroughly evaluate their personality traits because Our Father speaks so strongly about them in The Word. Here’s Guy #1:
THE ANGRY MAN
The flip side of the Angry Man is the Abusive Man. And yes, we’re still discussing a Christian here. The unfortunate reality is that angry or abusive men, capable of inflicting both mental and physical injuries upon those they profess to love, do exist among Believers.
This fellow undoubtedly displayed such characteristics long before he was saved, and God likely equipped him to cope with his aggressive behaviors. However, as time passes, unless his salvation was totally transformative, anger issues may still be retained. Even if seldom displayed, they may lurk quietly beneath his calm exterior demeanor, awaiting only the right trigger to erupt into acting out.
Fortunately, abusive tendencies or a hair trigger temper usually reveal themselves fairly early in a relationship. We only need to slow down and take time to really get to know the man. But a woman who is falling in love may not understand the signs she’s being given. Instead of heeding his anger signals, she will ignore them, disbelieve them, or wish them away.
When manifesting in Believers, angry or abusive behaviors may be subtle, showing up at first in only small instances of carnal behavior, of ignoring God and reverting to the ‘old man’. These seemingly minor transgressions, such as a harshly raised voice, or a swiftly upraised strike hand, may be quickly apologized for and promptly forgotten. But the root cause is only momentarily dormant.
The Scriptures, especially in Proverbs, issue ample warnings against involvement with an angry man, and anger is always present in the mindset of an abuser. We’ll look at specific scriptural warnings next.
As always…Joy and Shalom!
jo lynne pool - Love in The Book.org 